she_is_a_widow_to_herself blue sky with clouds every month like the moon, when the wine of her life spills, she becomes a widow to herself. an offering of blood in exchange for the freedom to choose. 020425 ... unhinged and like a good widow she keeps a meticulous house scrubbing the dishes wiping the counters clutching the dishrags and even though she's always been alone and it was just her dreams that died she still runs to the bathroom to be alone when she cries and when she can muster the courage to leave the house she paints her smile on walking in straight lines frowing_while_smiling sinking deeper just dying for someone to catch her she is a widow to herself but she keeps a meticulous house 050707 ... .fallen "...she keeps a meticulous house" the sentiment echoes much like the echo of unkeepable 050707 ... unhinged . 090529 ... flowerock These words are perfect for what they describe. My body mourns that it is alone inside, cries red tears. My heart weeps but smiles, she knows it's just part of the cycle. My body swells and aches, confused. Pulled in too many directions to settle on a feeling or thought until I'm empty and free again to choose whether to open or close the curtains. 150421 ... fw By these words I meant the words of others before me here, not my words... 150421 ... unhinged battered_woman_syndrome 150421 ... unhinged ive been doing my roommates dishes a lot lately. my hands itch to be busy and my echoing_thought leads me to darkness. scalding hot water water logged scraps of food eco friendly soaps run the garbage disposal vacuum the floor dust the counters cleanliness next to spaziness next to emptiness 190513 ... daf Peace is always outside the window but behind the mirror. You are looking at yourself when you look outside yourself. It's all a big disco ball, do0d..meant to fool us from seeing that it's still just a mirror. Fake it..'til you make it. But not in the fake way. In the "I know this will lead to the EXIT door" sort of way. And that wasn't a mansplain, it was the usual dafsplain. Luv you Nicole..you'll always be a sister to me. The email still stands if you'd like to come hang and perform. Ted's been clamoring for violin/fiddle acts. Hope that helps. Ignore it if it doesn't. 190513 ... unhinged or i can just go back to the celibate hermit life i had before him and get some new_ink 190513 what's it to you? who go blather from