power_of_a_nightmare elimeny i have these nightmares sometimes. this is something i wanted so desperately for myself. i wanted to date... see what was out there for me. but i didnt think it would torture me like this. jesus, please take back the nightmares... i didnt need that one the other night... the one where my mother hated me... the one where jason hated me... the one where both of you called me a whore... i didnt like the one i had a few weeks ago... where kris hated me... i dont like sleeping anymore. im so scared. and my problem is that im so superstitious... my dreams do mean something. i remember back when i had a dream tim was cheating on me with julie, and so i told him about brad, just to tell him he couldnt hurt me. and thats how i honestly felt, deep down inside. and i didnt want to admit it. and i do crazy revealing things after a nightmare.... after that one i called him and told him about brad. and i was really going to keep that a secret... and after that dream a couple of nights ago, i sent a pathetic series of offline messages to jason... im so sorry everyone.. im so sorry that im awful... i dont mean to be... if i hurt you, i PROMISE it was not intentional... i guess im just not as graceful as i thought. i step on things everywhere i go. 030224 ... Kristopher They can be powerful sometimes, but know at least one thing. I do not hate you, and I don't think I ever could. 030225 ... Eladamaros Nobody hates you. Some of us wish we could hold you, could be your dream and supplant your nightmares. I believe in the power of dreams though. When my grandfather passed in his sleep I knew before anybody woke me up. I had a dream about ending up in hell on Andrew's birthday and I did. I had a nightmare once, with the woman I loved in it. I told her about it when she woke up. It was the most frightened I'd ever been...it makes for a funny allegory though if you remember it. Sometimes the real nightmare is real life though. And thoughts. Thoughts haunt us awake or asleep though, there's no getting away from them, there's power in daymares too. 030828 what's it to you? who go blather from