like_an_omen unhinged i don't remember dreams often. i don't sleep well. i think i have a hard time reaching my rem cycle. when i do remember dreams, they hit me like an omen. sam told me once that when you dream about someone it means you are together on some level of reality. i like to take that to mean that maybe when i have dreams about someone, they could possibly be thinking of me too. i know i've been thinking of him a lot lately. but i usually do, wondering, worrying, frustrated, lonely. and the jeff_buckley song forget_her gets under my skin; he has been heartache since the moment that i met him. i walked into the nyabinghi. it's a dirty little place in a dirty little neighborhood with a unbelievably awesome setup. i walked into the front lounge/bar and he was sitting on a stool at the bar. for some reason it was flipped though; the bar was on the right instead of the left. i walked up to him and he turned to look at me at about the same time. he got that 'thank god it's you' smile and i grabbed his little skeleton in my arms and whispered in his ear 'i love you.' he backed away from me 'oh, come on, don't get like that...' 'no no no. god dude, how many times do i have to tell you not like that? but i do, love you.' and he put his arm around my waist and didn't let me go. i picked up a napking and left him two phone numbers; a 330 number of someone we both knew that could help him and my milwaukee cell phone number. he was about to tuck the napkin in his pocket like the day he took the poem i wrote on a napkin away from me at the nyabinghi when two girls i go to school with in milwaukee, anna and anna maria, walked past us. i said hello and he looked at me funny. i woke up. i didn't get to see him this christmas either. i'm leaving in two days. i won't see him before i go. but i'm still debating if i should call him. i'm not supposed to know how to get ahold of him now. 050113 ... phil cursed for the very first time! 050116 what's it to you? who go blather from