lump
notme it will go away. 040623
...
uow it went away.
it was in my neck.
it was just a little lump.
it was probably an infection.
040928
...
p.o.t.u.s.a. lump sat alone in a boggy marsh
totally emotionless except for her heart
mud flowed up into lump's pajamas
she totally confused all the passing pirahnas

she's lump, she's lump
she's in my head
she's lump, she's lump, she's lump
she might be dead

lump lingered last in line for brains
and the one she got was sorta rotten and insane
small things so sad that birds could land
is lump fast asleep or rockin' out with the band?

she's lump, she's lump
she's in my head
she's lump, she's lump, she's lump
she might be dead

lump was limp and lonely and needed a shove
lump slipped on a kiss and tumbled into love
she spent her twenties between the sheets
life limped along at sub-sonic speeds

she's lump, she's lump
she's in my head
she's lump, she's lump, she's lump
she might be dead

is this lump outta my head? i think so
is this lump outta my head? i think so
is this lump outta my head? i think so
is this lump outta my head?
040928
...
monee small, peasized

inner thigh,
since before the neck one

actually,
since sometime last winter

i barely noticed it at first

but then it grew a little


and now it aches a little
when i touch it
it's kinda hard and sore
but it's not a sore
it's not even discoloured

it's just a lump

in my leg


a lump

and my leg feels weird
more tingly than before


i'm afraid of breaking down
in front of a doctor


it's probably nothing

the neck one went away
and
i haven't woken-up semi-blind in a while


i'm afraid of breaking down


i'm afraid


i'm afraid of the fact that i haven't been able to tell anyone until now here in blather and now i'm afraid of people reading this and knowing i found a lump in my thigh and i'm afraid of people telling me to see a doctor because i'm afraid of what it could be and i'm afraid of being touched by some strange doctor who doesn't know or understand me at all some doctor who won't realize half of why i would be crying


i'm just afraid, that's all.



maybe it's just fatty tissue, or something simple. an ingrown hair, or maybe even some type of hernia.


it's probably nothing, i'm just tired.


and weird. yes, i'm the weird girl who has some weird lump in her thigh and is afraid of a lot of things and i probably shouldn't type when i'm this tired.
041217
...
monee lipoma? 041217
...
monee i think there a lymph node there 041217
...
. *there's 041217
...
monee i think i'm calmer now.

i think i'll see a doctor,
i'm just nervous.
041217
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