for_anythingbutcryptic auburn dirt. 080129 ... anythingbutcryptic being buried alive, wow. when i was a kid i would have nightmares about that. but yes, dirt. 080130 ... auburn You did the burying yourself. I just gave you dirt. 080130 ... anythingbutcryptic im confused now, is it a good thing or a bad thing? 080131 ... auburn You said, 'give me dirt'. So I did. 080131 ... past feeling like you want to delete everything is part of being a skite. 080131 ... anythingbutcryptic i feel like a fool. what if you want to kill yourself in heaven. are you allowed to have sexual feelings in heaven? what exactly IS hell? fire? i hear oscar wilde is there. because hes homosexual. i look at my best friend who goes to youth group regularly. shes intelligent and i feel that she is believing blindly, not stopped to consider that, er... we might be living in a simulated reality. dont laugh at me. i got so upset about it i walked about in a daze for a week. 080201 ... auburn I love going to church. I love singing about Jesus. I love Jesus. It's really funny how most of God's actions from heaven seem so much more human compared to Jesus' actions here on Earth; which were much more divine. I don't know about eternity. But I'd like to think that some of us are capable of loving a lot more than the human race has been proving. I've been losing a lot of people lately. People I didn't know could effect my life so completely, when they weren't so much of a part of it. So I thought. It's made me feel raw inside. And I can't help but feel vulnerable about my own humanity, and whether or not I am really capable of the love I hope exists. From my human heart, to yours. 080201 ... anythingbutcryptic oh, i thought i replied to this. sorry. 080316 ... anythingbutcryptic from the last time i was here, to now. i pretty much dont believe in god anymore. wish i could, but ah. 080316 what's it to you? who go blather from