today_i_feel Risen It's important to name the emotions. To say how you feel. Just the simple words themselves, not the thigns we put on top of them. We use so many words here, in the Blue. And it is so beautiful, and so elegant and such a strange corner of the internet which has remained unchanged and protected for decades. The one still spot in a swirling tide of change, and I love that. I heard once that Blather was designed to be a dictionary type thing, to be terse, to be succinct. Today, I am glad it isn't. Today I feel grateful for Blather 180731 ... Lemon_Soda Today I feel useful. 180731 ... Doar Today_I_feel blindfolded walking into the desert. . 180803 ... Risen Today, for the first time in a very long time, I feel proud of myself. Today I feel like hope might be around the corner. That my luck might be about to change. I convinced a government body to change its mind, and I advocated for what I needed. A few years ago I would have thought it a small victory - in fact, I wouldn't even have wanted to win it. I wouldn't have wanted to admit I needed help with even the most basic tasks. This might help my quality of life, and that's a hope I haven't had in some time. 181025 ... arwyn Everything is so overwhelming. I'm like an exposed nerve. I feel everything all at once. I hide away in a blanket_fort like it's my only refuge from today, but it doesn't stop the incessant phone calls, the nagging dread, the pervasive feeling that I'm doing everything wrong in my life. Stop comparing yourself to others, I scream internally. They can't do what you do and you can't do what they do, in a generalised sort of way. Yesterday was so hard and I need to make today better. I can write. I can make progress. I still have to leave the house. Have to. I don't know what that even means. I'm a "grown up". I technically don't have to do anything anymore. But there are always consequences. I hate whining. I feel so impotent. Raging against the grain of the wood instead of following its lines. Slow your roll, girl. 181026 what's it to you? who go blather from