jane_innerviews_redtree jane what are some of your favorite things about seasons changing at robin_hill? 090303 ... cr0wl winter into spring the first thing we notice are the speckled grackles and their throaty warbles as they return from the south. they always make a nest right under our bedroom window in a little cut-out they formed about fifteen years ago. generation after generation come back to use it. this past sunday morning they returned. it was so funny because they woke me up and one of them was looking right at me through the window, head cocked, saying, "you don't mind right? you let my mom do this last year you know." up at the viva el coop, egg production is higher and the brood hens start sitting on the eggs to hatch them. when the chicks hatch it is a miracle i can never get enough of. the horses can be seen rolling around on the ground in an effort to help rid themselves of their thick winter coats. the goats go into heat often and run/kick/fart around in the warming weather. a variety of narcissus(daffodil)species are the first bulbs to emerge and we have them by the hundreds in various locations;along the road, in the stone-edged gardens, under the massive pine trees. the abundant yellow flowers of the forsythia are next, sprawling over the weathered picket fences. then come hundreds of multi-colored tulips and hyacinths spread throughout. i love the chartreuse of the shademaster locust, the multitude of tiny purple flowers on the redbuds clinging on as if they were dipped. the apple and pear trees bud, the wildflower fields get lush with emerging growth. the distant woods fill with paintbrush-dipped wonder. i love how the st. francis garden, recently featured in my daughter's wedding, comes alive little by little. such promise fulfilled and hope rekindled as they push their new selves forth in the circle beds lined by stone paths. i love how verdant the lawns become. there's a snowdrop allium that is everywhere and has such rubbery green leaves and adds a deep, richness to the grass. and of course the return of the robins! 090303 ... unhinged forsythia reminds me of europe; the triangle from prague to vienna to budapest and driving from place to place around easter time the yellow forsythia busting forth in welcome. spring is short around here. the bulbs take forever to bloom, often not until may. i miss my mother's yard in the spring. the ring of tulips around the lampost, the weeping cherry in the front yard, the dogwood in the back. i miss real spring like it is where i grew up. blooming soon, long, intensely. gradually from mud, to the crocus, to the daffodil, to the tulip, dogwood, cherry. a slow and long procession of unfurling. if this fall was an indication, it will go from 25 to 75 in the space of two weeks and most of my favorite flowers will be shocked by the too warm too fast and drop their petals. 090303 ... jane there is a quote from a film that resonates deeply with me, though i cannot find it online anywhere... it in essence is something like this: every artist either depicts themselves or puts a depiction of themselves in their work. my interpretation of this is, for example, even if i am painting a portrait of somebody else, i am painting a part of myself that i see in them. really i am painting my face, my expression. i would be interested in your thoughts and reflections on this subject. 090326 ... cr0wl you can't help but put yourself in everything you create. it is what nature herself does. go ahead, take a walk in the woods. (you do have woods in sacremento?) you will discover with each (look, listen, and feel) step that you will be told the story that the world has written. you are art. art is you. it is everyone at the same time, rolled up, compressed, flooding, bursting, being released, swirling round and round. square_the_circle. oh, margaux! (i love your black and white photos. you are beautiful!) i am unfolding, splitting, being torn apart everyday. i am being mined. i am lightning somehow, being thrown violently across the theatre of the sky! in all that i make, whether be a story being turned into a film, or a get well gift for my cousin who just had major surgery, it is me they behold, simply because it is my self who i am, have, possess...you know? and what else can i give? you paint someone else and you see yourself. it is because we are all one. we have all been created out of the same material. strip my flesh off and what do you find? blood. the same as yours. organs. the same as yours. nerve wires. the same as yours skeleton. the same as yours... inside of you is the cry we all make. 090326 ... jane and how do you consider it in a more literal sense? do you think when i paint someone else i somehow incorporate features of myself? i ask because lately with my nude female caricatures i have noticed that each has at least one feature (exaggerated or not) that relates to my own body... 090326 ... cr0wl i think you are an instrument finely tuned. literal? i am non-linear. perhaps you are inhabiting the space of your canvas where you can somehow unite paint with clarity. the vision of yourself that resides in the space between the lines. (when music stops, what do you hear?) you are painting yourself to be sure. it is your body that you always see. 090326 ... jane do you believe love changes things? if so, what are some ways? do you think it is the most powerful thing? if not, what do you think is and why? 090727 ... cr0wl i think love is as necessary as breathing and food because without it i would dissolve into a blob of depression and purposelessness. love reveals our human identity and gives us a sense of definition as we relate to those in our circle. it fulfills us and builds us, leading us step by step along a moment by moment, daily, weekly, monthly, seasonally, and annual evolutionary path. it removes the need for self, replacing it with the satisfaction of pleasing others which is the only means of personal happiness. i don't think it's the most powerful thing. it's an element, one of many things that collaborate and unite to form us from many into one. we are dependant on all that is this world for our ability to live in it. we are like the fall of a seed on the surface of a lake. the ripples go out and gather until they reach the edge. 090728 ... jane in __blackink____whitepages__, you state: "i always thought calling an object by its term in another language makes it seem different or even better." can you expand a bit on this idea, especially the "even better" part? is it a sort of purism, do you think? or just a romanticism? 101019 ... rt linguistic purism is very involved and can even be considered part of governmental language policy. however, it can also be abstract so i may be a bit of a purist. this is kind of funny in a weird way but one of my earliest memories is sitting on the potty chair and interviewing myself in a language i made up myself based on the beautiful foreign languages i must have heard on television. i always had my own language which was part german/italian/french/ mixed up with made up english. so, it's easy to see i romanticize languages. but what makes it "even better" when identifying an object and contemplating it is the foreign word has an attraction for me because it is something i do not know and must learn. its sound coming off the tongue of the one who posses the knowledge to speak it with confidence to speak it is somehow beautiful to me. to know that there are so many ways to express one's soul through words manipulated by tongue, teeth, and lips is so thrilling to me. perhaps she calls a strawberry a fraise. what sound tastes better? you know what i'm talking about. sweets or dolce? good-dbye or ciao? yeah. you do. 101020 ... jane do you think words' aesthetic advantage somehow comes from their etymological culture? that is, do you you believe that their history gives them depth and therefore intrigue? 101021 ... rt yes. every word has a history. it is a thought that has evolved over centuries of time, sculpted by intention, desire, sound, and function. there is an inherent art in anything that grows for it is fulfilling a purpose, transforming, redefining beauty in every change and aspect. 101022 ... cr0wl yes. every word has a history. it is a thought that has evolved over centuries of time, sculpted by intention, desire, sound, and function. there is an inherent art in anything that grows for it is fulfilling a purpose, transforming, redefining beauty in every change and aspect. 101022 ... jane do you believe in ghosts (or anything analogous to ghosts)? 101103 ... rt my daughter, hilary swears she saw the ghost of a little girl when we spent the night in a tybee island (off savannah, georgia) bed and breakfast when she was 15. she came running into our bed in the middle of the night totally out of breath from fright. greta slept through the whole incident. i don't think i have seen a ghost, although i have experienced what i feel was a presence from a parallel world, actually a few times. white_dog_day and three times when i passed out but who knows, it could have all been in my freaky brain. i think the possibility of ghosts are interesting and worth investigating. people get so into itwhen they say they've seen them. just the fact that know one can prove they do not exist is so intriguing. all i know is it's going to be so cool when we die. but for now, i'm having the time of my life right here. right now. 101103 ... . sorry for the type-fucks. 101103 ... jane ha, you sort of answered without answering. ;) what about dreams? do you think it's possible for dreams to be doorways to other dimensions, or the world of the dead? do you believe dreams are significant in any way other than our brains arbitrary functions in sleep mode? do you believe in the symbolism of dreams? 101103 ... cr0wl dreams are individual as fingerprints. i believe we all have the ability to define their symbolic meaning, value and intrinsic nature as they pertain to our real world and imagination. we should be writing our dreams down because that is the best way to remember them, gauge their patterns, and learn what they are trying to say and teach us. why else do we dream? our brains do this thing while we sleep that is kind of like soul cleansing. similar to the effect of a wave washing up on the shore and smoothing out the sand. and so while this is occurring, dreams develop to sort out what is important for us and what isn't. that is why sometimes we say we dreamt how to do something. it's not that the dream revealed it to us per say, but moreso the non-important crap was moved away so we could see the keys. check out radiolab's podcast about sleep. jad and robert are the bomb. i often dream of people i have never met before and so it is natural for me to think i have traveled to another world. who can tell me i haven't? although, i could easily hear a scientist tell me it's all just neurons and electrical charges mixed up with random imagery and memory. still, dreams are way too involved,mysterious, and bizarre for them to be limited to neurological deductions. i have dreamed about people who have died and have had amazing visits with them. when i woke, i felt like it was real. i think it's funny when my alarm becomes part of my dream, especially when the noise comes out of someone's mouth. i love to wake up laughing. 101103 ... jane i've rarely woken up laughing. i have, however, woken up crying, and cried throughout the morning, because of a powerful yet tragic dream. many of my dreams involve major catastrophes, and i'm not quite sure what that means. have you ever had a vision (non-asleep)? 101104 ... rt i think my life is one long vision. one after the other. but there are two that will forever stand out as extremely vivid: 1. when i was 15, i was listening to heart's, "dog and butterfly" in my bedroom and fell into a trance and was swallowed up by a vision of meeting a girl. turns out that very weekend i met her at a club, the exact girl in the vision, down to every detail and we had a two year, most intense relationship that has permanently effected me. 2. kathy and i were hiking in the woods when we were 17 and as i was looking at her sitting across from me, i saw a vision of our entire life together, basically all we are experiencing together as a family @robin_hill. by the way, i have had many catastrophic dreams as well. i think it's the way we deal with terror-fueled fear, normal anxiety and everyday stress. don't sweat them. 101104 ... jane what is your advice for someone being haunted? 101104 ... rt without knowing any details, i would say don't live alone (although i don't know your living situation), surround yourself with friends, and investigate the history and the present... find out as much as you can. all the who, what, where, when, and why...document, take photos...don't panic. from what i've heard, ghosts don't hurt anyone...i'm fascinated by this, so tell me more if you like. 101104 ... jane see: haunted sam is hautning his dreams and he can't sleep. 101105 what's it to you? who go blather from