lost_liz typhoid this party.. of an old friend who i havnt hung out with in a long time i hope to see other people who i havnt even seen whatever alchohol creater of sins a solvent, (sorry, i dont drink much solvents..) you also dont know anyone here. lets stand next to each other at the edge of the room take comfort in each other's discomfort later after drunkeness dance, have fun the music gets louder the party goes on people leave the music leaves the drinks still flow you keep telling us that you have never been this drunk before never been this fucking drunk 'fuck' being every 3rd word or so all but a few are gone now. you disappear into the bathroom appear much later on the couch. sickness ensues and in the stream of tears following i find out just how much some people believe those images in the magazines of skinny girls the ideal of beautiful but not really some sicko's ideal but not real. it's not healthy to weigh 110 when your 19 or 20 or whatever. live your life, you are beautiful as you are... i almost cry (as close as i think i can come) as you tell the three of us that oh, we're just trying to be nice, but you are too fucked up. you are not perfect. you need to be perfect i think, some fucking executive's ideal of perfect, making so many unhappy you unhappy i can't make it okay. 000618 ... lotusflower where has she gone???? the cocteaus are gone forever. :( 000618 ... whirligirl ty, i'm sure you made things a little better. :) yup. people can improve this situation. i think so. 000619 ... nocturnal yup, that's me in a nut shell 010305 ... nocturnal searching for some direction in life, wanting everything to come together before I lose my mind. I am liz and I am so lost you can't begin to imagine. 010306 ... mikey i think my biggest problem in life is lack of motivation. i can fix this. but im..unmotivated so......lol 010306 what's it to you? who go blather from