curling_pitbulls dafremen As Americans, I think we can all agree that we are obssessed with many things. Sticking it to each other for money is a national pasttime along with smacking around defenseless countries for being entirely too useful, but not cooperative enough. We seem to be obsessed with electing liars and letting them spend oodles of our money. And of course we're obsessed with safety, what with this being the Home of the Brave and all. (The U.S.A. was born on the 4th of July, making her a Cancer. Moody, changes her mind alot. Crazy about the ideas of Home and Mother. Horribly afraid that the worst boogaboos are going to come out at the worst moment. Obsessed with money. Obsessed with telling others what to do. Like a stereotypical old Jewish grandmother.) But if there is anything that really fits the description of All-American obsessions, they would have to be the quest for the hardest body and the quest to raise the hardest pitbulls. Nothing makes people say..Hmmm...let's not screw with that person..like 16 inch biceps or a 95 pound red-nosed American pitbull terrier (named Yoshi)...cept maybe a gun. OR a Puerto Rican girlfriend. But if there is one ULTIMATE American obsession, it would have to be our obsession with time. How to find the time to build gorgeous 'ceps like these (flexes while pumping with foot)...AND still find the time to work out your pitty? Huh? Simple. Curling pitbulls. Yes, you heard me right, curling pitbulls. Curling pitbulls is a new cardiovascular workout routine that combines the toning effect of isometrics with the muscle building power of weight lifting. And the best part of all is, your PITBULL gets a workout too..because he is your personal trainer. Nothing can provide hours of enjoyment for you, AND your pit like curling pitbulls can. Here's all you need: 4 Cups cold water 6 Lunch size bags of BBQ chips or 1 piece of beef jetky A feather 3 counterclockwise twisted bread ties braided to a garbage tie 8 lbs of pork lard. (Do not substitute with shortening!) 100 ft extension cord 12 lime green golf balls with glow in the dark embossing An old T-shirt that can get chewed up Once you've secured all of the items on the list, you may begin your new life as a curling pitbulls success story. Step 1. Take the T-shirt Step 2. Hold each end in a hand. Step 3. If your pit isn't already biting onto it, shake the shirt Step 4. Once your dog is securely attached, begin curling If your dog comes off Repeat Curling pitbulls features voice activated tension adjuster, for hands free resistance adjustment. Just say "GEt Im Boy!" to increase resistance, "Be nice" to reduce. If you're looking for even MORE resistance, a little jerky or BBQ chips onto the shirt will make for an even MORE invigorating workout! It's really that simple! So what are you waiting for? Get your curling pitbulls today and get started on the new you...and the new him! (Jerky, water, chips, feather, bread ties, garbage tie, lard, cord, golf balls and t-shirt not included. Some assembly required) 050902 ... grendel will there be dog_boots ? heh. 050902 ... egger giggles 050907 what's it to you? who go blather from