capillary_thin_leaf_grace_all_in_a_day's_work werewolf leaves on a walkway, twitching by, i stop and look at a photo of you. your hair's a bit windblown, you seem like you were about to speak but were distracted, by a qualifier and another and another. and you're full of youthful promise and beauty, but furrowed. the photo looks like the first scene in a movie i'd watch. i step off the walkway, into shadows between lights, near a tree. today was too long. and my mind was like the dusk to night transition in a horror. and all the scenes, the garishness of office coffee and conversations, the poor bastards who need legal services, with lives and mistakes that now seem regular by their constant repetition, now suddenly seem revealed as cancers in my life. entering by my necessary invitation, and then becoming me. and thinking about it all, made me feel sick, and violent. then, just like that, i lost my attention, and forgot it. sometimes a dark moment like that goes flat. and it's not happiness, but a peace that settles over you. you're just there. it's just alright. you could be a condemned man and you still know that moment would arise at times. it's nice to know. if you know enough to get a smile, you don't need to know everything else. someone asks you some question or another tomorrow at the coffee pot, read any good books? (they're even better after I read them) what do you wear to bed? (usually dried vomit and a coke mustache) and you've got a witty reposte. and you don't worry about those nagging thoughts, that will return like collection calls at the end of the day. because you've got a defense, a mechanism, a mercy of our nature - that blankness. and if it erases that picture of you for a moment, in its dumb wash - forgive me, it was almost all i could do. a lesser succumb. a general's view on war sometimes brings comfort to a foot soldier, when it no longer does him any good to realize it's his blood just now. red, like the ending scene in a movie i'd watch. 061017 what's it to you? who go blather from