same_shit_different_day
the_road_to_my_salvation And what if now is all I have? And what if it's all that ever mattered?

What if tomorrow is gone, fucked or pristine though it may have been and what if the future is a Mattel ad of our lives, all promises and no delivery? What then? Just the same old boring toy we discarded yesterday.

And what if it's so goddamned boring because we're looking at the same shit today as we were yesterday, listening to the same shit we listened to yesterday and doing the same repetitious shit we were doing yesterday?

What if being alive and living in the now aren't boring at all? What if it's you? What if it's me and my insistence on being with you and listening to you, whoever you happen to be? What if it's my insistence on listening to myself? What if that's why life is less that satifactory most days?

And what if now is all I have and it's fucking glorious, but I never knew because I was too busy wanting something else? Wanting to be with you, whoever you are?

What if right now is the greatest thing since the greatest thing and I'm missing it, because I'm listening to the digitally enhanced, dolby noise reduced rerun that you thought the entire fucking neighborhood just HAD to hear on your entirely too loud for human consumption car stereo? What if we all missed something so very subtle, yet so damned important that it could have set the tone for the rest of our lives, because you insisted on a repeat of yesterday's performance?

What if the best thing that could have ever happened to me, just happened to me and I missed it because I wasn't experiencing anything but the same old crock of shit nothing that you, my fellow teen shitheads led me to believe was so important? This socio-fuckfest-soap opera drama we've all mistaken for life?

What if now is all we have? Then what?
040907
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anne-girl there's this theory called the bullshit theory on some site which i read repeatedly once that says that pretty much everything people do as a general is bullshit, except maybe some stuff isn't bullshit... like art or music or something, the cool shit

except most stuff is, and it's pretty damn depressing because then you realize that what everyone cares about is totally pointless and then you want to escape but you can't because iiiiiiittttttttt'''''''sssssss aaaallll aaaaaaarrrrrrrrooooooouuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnddddddddddd yyoooooooooooouuu

and then you get all superior feeling because i decide i'm definitively NOT part of the bullshit and then realize that i actually am, but maybe it's better to be aware of it... but maybe it's better to just be happy instead of all pessimistic and crap. So you can go around in circles endlessly and then nothing really happens

life's so trippy sometimes
041206
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unhinged .

*sigh*
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