lay_awake_beside_you Doar I guess a tired fantasy is in my mind. The thought of being able to watch you breath, watching your rem state. looking for the clues of your dreaming. 040827 ... mourninglight to awake beside you... lying awake, beside me... yes, yes I am a neurotic romantic and yes..yes I am okay with this!!! 040827 ... pete to fill the empty corners of my bed with a warmth that cannot come from the sun, and feel your arm over my eyes, blocking the light from my vision. i don't want to have to pick up the phone when you call to hear your voice, i'd prefer it you were laying awake here beside me, so when you say "see you soon" you mean when you uncover my sleeping eyes. 040828 ... suicidalchinadoll memory will only sustain you for so long 040828 ... Doar memory lives beside you and I. . 080428 ... TransientX Those were some of the best days of my life. 080430 ... carlos you are soundless like the night, and comforting like dawn. 080430 ... once again I'm awake, not to watch you sleep, even though that is what I'm doing, but because I cannot sleep. For the first time in my life, this is something that I'm happie about. 080430 ... suicidalchinadoll I have lain awake beside you every night. Sometimes shifting to perch on the end of your bed, to release the pressure on your achilles, three finger widths above the ankle bone. My fingers trace the lines the pain makes through your legs, and I feel them in mine. You always seemed so shocked I knew how to find those sensations in you, and what you never realized was that I had taken you into me. Our nervous systems joined, and exploring you was exploring me. You were my mirror, my love, my pain. The moment you withdrew hurt far far more than the moment you left me for good. I had already become your ghost limb, feeling you even in the knowledge that I was gone. Some nights I return to perch, your ghost limb, your ghost love. Have you cauterized the wound, or do you sense it? 121018 what's it to you? who go blather from