i_am_a_nothing atrium to practice emptiness to prevent tears this moment alone the fruit after all the petals have fallen from ripe to rotting wishing for a forest fire 021028 ... unhinged or to only cry at night with the window cracked open on the frost to refrigerate the soul i hadn't sobbed like that in ages and i still can't figure out exactly why but i think it was because i_am_a_nothing to everyone wipe away the tears and walk away so that i'm sleeping_alone i've grown used to it while it may not be comforting it sure is familiar i_am_a_nothing of dark shadows and sharp edges as my lip crumbles into tears running black down my shadowed cheeks i_am_a_nothing i_am_a_mistake 021028 ... NothingNow now and always 030810 ... . . 030810 ... ashmanzhou i hope to be nothing solely only wholly within myself and to my own self i hope to be true nothing subsists there not even me i pale to think of my alter'd self writhing in pain'd horrific grace living breathing dreaming gone to nothing oh nothing why must i be a something of nothing unreality bound 030810 ... noun I love self-pity. That shit gets me going. 030810 ... atrium my statements had nothing to do with self pity, for the record. it was about stripping myself down to what i am. to be clean and free of pain. 030810 ... . . 041029 ... Syrope i didn't even hit you, bug. i missed. but you flopped over and lay there like you were dead for a few seconds anyway. then you leapt up like you were happy to see me, like maybe i'd forget i wanted you dead. i hit you again. i didn't miss. i keep expecting you to get back up again, though. i think it's better this way. 041029 what's it to you? who go blather from