dear_dee / / 040123 ... . . 040123 ... :/ It is against my best interest to write to you. But since I must, I will in a place that you will never see it. And most it see will be uninterested, but I will write nonetheless. I was quite surprised to hear from you. I imagined that you would forgotten I existed. I would be a simple aquaintence that passed in out of your life, vanishing out of sight and out of mind. Why did you write to me when I told you not to? I would be giving myself too much credit to think that you have the "hots" for me. And I had basically forgotten about you. But I was reminded of you because a radio show I listen to. A caller to show said he was doing a service to married females by causing them to cheat on their husbends with him. His theory was that it helped save their marriage. Well, I'm not married, but you have boosted the libido of someone who is in a seriously long-term relationship. I considered how exciting it would be to write to you. Maybe even have discreet phone sex. Dammit, the mere thought of you arouses me beyond anything you could comprehend. I thought about you while driving and couldn't wait to get home. I wanted to touch myself THERE. Sinful thoughts were really getting the best of me. But I recognized that and took a step back to observe.... So, I realize that primal needs and desires I have are natural. It's what I do with them that counts. I can act upon them or not, they will remain in existance. But I cannot act, as much as my heart tells me I want to. I hope for my sake I never have to. I'll remember you, but I really believe you'll forget about me before we ever chat again. I think I'm checking in with you, so that I'll stay in your mind for just a bit. But really, I wish you'd get a serious girlfriend, so you'd be less tempting. Good luck, and please don't write back. :) 040123 ... blah-ze dee will always have a special little corner of my heart... kind of like one scheduled for remodelling, but never gets done... 040124 what's it to you? who go blather from