bigger_than_ourselves white_light Heaven forbid I'd be criticised, Heaven forbid I'd be ignored. Heaven forbid I'd be average, whatever average means. You mean we actually are all One? 020917 ... eve specks of dust swirling splattered the night sky is seen through the slice of light spilling in through a crackled door inhale the cosmos exhale the north wind 031112 ... perfectly_chaotic or rather, bigger than myself is this sudden horror. Never before did I think I would be the one hiding myself in some dark, dank corner. Actually, come to think of it I just might have always been hiding here; just delirious to admit it to myself. This hiding space appears much larger than I; yet it is a part of me. I have been here so long and nobody has yet been able to find me. Hell, anyone who knew I was here has probably forgotten how to find me by now... I can never tell you the true truth exactly as it is. Any shred of truth you have ever torn from these lips has been just that, a shred; incomplete. You have never really known me, nor my guilt, nor my shame, nor my loneliness, nor my inadequacy. You may think you understand, but what you have seen hardly puts a chink in my skin; I doubt you can see through the chink in my heart with all the fleshy tissue and bones in the way. I have never been good enough at anything I have ever done to make anybody else happy. Poke out my eyes, replace them with your own and take a look. You will see the world colored differently. I've been hiding here, in the dark, for so many years I have forgotten what I look like. All I can see is darkness. I wish I could see something bigger than myself, to see through to your darkness, but do you really want me to poke out your eyes as the cave crumbles around you? 101215 what's it to you? who go blather from