last_night twiggie after a perfect circle, we went to perkins. it was another reminder that i don't like their food. but anyway. this guy who called himself "Troll", he started hitting on megan and kristin. i don't consider it hitting on me because i just sat there and laughed my ass off while they talked to him (and laughed too). he thought we were in college and asked if we went to the U of M (because he did). he was kind of scary. but i wasn't too worried considering we were in Edina, and the only memories i have of Edina is visiting my grandma. He gave us his card and i'm still trying to figure out what his occupation is. you'd think it'd be self explanitory, but it isn't. 010401 ... stupidpunkgirl last night i found out that this boy from our school stole four guns while on cocaine and could face up to 20 years in prison. he's 18 years old, and used to go to church on a regular basis. i don't know him that well...but meghan used to be best friends with him. all i know is that he is a talented musician. and he threw it all away. i cried for him last night. i hate the springtime. 010401 ... silentbob I watched Marcato, my cousin is the drummer, and his friend Kevin is the singer. Kevin was decked out in some weird shirt and he had dyed blonde hair and cute little pig tails, and he screamed like no other. then on the way home megan wanted to know where she stood with me. what could i say? but i didnt know. she didnt like that answer. 010401 ... blue star last night I got a hug from yessi, finally! only after I shamed her into it though. And yessi, he was hitting on Kristin the worst, but I think he was fishing for all three of us, so there! A Perfect Circle was awesome... and I want Maynard's pants! And Snake River Conspiracy was better live than on their cd... and yes, that guy was scary, and I ate too much Perkins food, just like always. I got home @ 4:30... ok I'm done now. 010401 ... jennifer so many things went wrong but this time it wasn't on my side 010401 ... soia bay bridge put me to sleep on the long drive I didn't have to drive 010401 ... strangeways here we come ...i dreamt that somebody loved me 010401 ... nocturnal sucked. I was at a party and all I wanted to do was get away from everyone. stupid fucking drunk college kids. sure, I am indeed a college kid and I was drunk, but god were they all getting on my nerves. for example, I was sitting peacefully by myself on the upstairs porch and these three guys come out, one of whom asked, "mind if we join you?" I said sure, whatever. then they started screaming at someone downstairs and pissing off the side. cool cool people. I stood up and went back inside. then I went into another room and locked the door. stared at the two fish in the fish tank. they looked less bored than I was. even my friends were boring me, everyone's the same and they all suck. soon after I just left without telling anyone bye or anything. I couldn't even stand talking to any of them if just to say I'm leaving. 010401 ... dB I went to bed at 10pm, which is odd for me on a Sunday. Normally I don't get out of the studio until about 1 or 2 in the morning. I actually slept. Can't believe it. Head hit the pillow, bang, out like a light. Good, deep sleep for a full 10 hours without the use of any sleeping pills. Maybe not working so hard is beginning to have an effect on me. YAY. 010401 ... unhinged i did my laundry, read music history, watched the breakfast club on tnt and got into a huge fight with the albino. it was an all around productive evening. 010401 ... dB They're playing breakfast club on TNT? They repeating it any time soon? 010401 ... Aimee I went to this really lame party. I was told that people would actually be having some decent conversation, but no, my immature "so-called friends" blasted christina aguillara, and britney spears, and got pissed at me when I popped in some marilyn manson. Eventually we ended up watching this crappy movie about cheerleading... Bring It On. What a shitty movie. High school parties piss me off. 010401 ... nocturnal college parties are the exact same, shitty shitty shitty. 010401 ... unhinged i don't know dB but they played it twice last night. it's usually on on thursday or saturday nights. 010401 ... chanaka i got to make out. *happy sigh* even the depressed and woeful must have their day 010402 ... twiggie i'm curious as to why they lied to us. they told us there was a broken water pipe, so we didn't have school on friday. in reality that boy stole 4 guns, and there was a threat of a school shooting. i wouldn't have ever even given a thought to it being him... 010402 ... blamethesky so... i've seen you drunk well... more than a few times. so i know when you're really out of it and when you're not. and you weren't. and since that was your excuse for what happened i know it's a lie. and i know there is a mutual attraction and i don't deny it...and i don't know why you are. you told meg before you left. [people always ask us if we're dating and are surprised when we reply no...why are you the only one who doesn't see it?] 010723 ... silentbob a flower fell from the viser in the passenger side of tanyas car. it was a pressed rose she got from kelli. it smelled so sweet. 010723 ... this story is old i know "...no hope, no harm, just another false alarm..." (but it goes on) 010724 ... fallen a decision was made 010724 ... kinkazoid i went to a family party thing for my boyfriend, it was his dad, and stepmom's familys. we went swimming, then had food and cake and ice cream, it was pretty fun i sat around talking to his family for a long time while he watched tv in the other room with the kids, i felt really grown up. his family likes me too, which makes me happy. his dad is a hunter and is goign to hunt elk and bear soon, i told him i hope an elk eats him cuz hunting is mean, but i didnt really mean it so i hope it doesnt happen and i get blamed for it....ramble ramble sorry 010724 ... absent but still present i got so drunk that i had to fall asleep with my eyes open so that i wouldn't throw up and then i woke up still drunk and have felt like shit all day. no more straight vodka for me. 010725 ... jem i took allergy medicine because of all my bugbites from camping and they made me sleepy so i went to bed at 9.30pm. yeah i'm a bad one. tehehe 010726 ... blamethesky it happened again only i wasn't drunk and kept you from changing our friendship like you seem to want to so badly. but you said you'd be good..and it happened...well sort of... by the end of the night..falling asleep on your bed..i wouldn't of minded if you were there you know.. but you slept on the couch.. and that was the most sensible thing you did all night. 010729 ... twiggie was a very good night. still smiling 011121 ... nocturnal I sent an email to someone I probably shouldn't have. shit shit shit. oh, and fuck as well. god fucking damnit. should lay off the martinis. 011121 ... psychobabe stayed home. Was crying for no reason, just a tough day. Mom was yelling at me, not my 2 other sisters cuz their perfect. Even tho i have a b+ in biology *which is GREAT for me* things were still rocky between me and my mom. Had to deal with my stupid lier of a dad, then decided i need to get out. My sister being as bitchy but as nice as she is took me to perkins, went with brooke and josh and laughed. Then went to county market to see jess, went cruising with her for awhile, came back home and watched the concert video of subnormal and spoilcane. All in all the before part sucked hard, but the end ruled 011121 ... psychobabe i went to blue earth finally! and it was great! 011122 ... psychobabe no words can even fucking say 020206 ... little wonder i made the mistake of looking at my mom's email again. my aunts keep telling her to talk to a lawyer...and i wanted to know what she was telling them back... last_night i cried. 020207 ... silentbob i got a phone call from an old_friend i never see due to her being the exgirlfriend of someone i try to not even talk to anymore. its sad our friendship was solely based on this fact and that when they ended, so did me seeing her nearly every day. we talked til 1130 and i couldn't get to sleep after that. then i put on my smashing pumpkins tape and finally got to sleep. thank you smashing_pumpkins you saved me once again 020404 ... having a stroke she said, "oh baby i feel so dumb.." 020404 ... scuzz offered me nothing. 031116 ... nom she cooked a feast 060125 ... nom a prostitute lady asked "when will summer arrive" and i replied "after spring" 070128 ... no reason fog city 070128 ... birdmad and me, i ain't never gonna understand (4 years later i finally bought another copy of this CD) 070129 ... unhinged in typical fashion, after he pulls me in, he will freak out and push me away. i guess his excuse for thursday night would be he was drunk. i hate that excuse. i am so tired of his teeter totter way he treats me. i need to be perfectly honest for once. *sigh* once again, i feel like i'm not making any sense. he makes me all confused inside. 070129 ... crOwl beth apologized to kathy for saying, "fuck you" to her because kathy called her lazy. dave's on his way back to copenhagen on a free ride from levi jeans for a photo shoot. 070129 ... thorn maria ignored me and made out with my friend in front of me. a great start to the new_year. 110101 ... unhinged we kissed at midnight and it was mostly just a friendly kiss; i realized i'm not in_love with you anymore. but i love you so much it hurts sometimes. sometimes amazing things happen when you step_into_fear. somehow, how you act when you are fucked up came up 'yeah, i know. i act like a selfish greedy asshole.' 'but that's not how you are.' 'i know.' so why do you want to make yourself that way? (but what you don't realize is that with most of the people in my world, i keep it all inside. i keep my feelings and my observations to myself, but i feel like i can tell you those things without you shitting on me. at least when you're sober anyways) something changed between us 110101 ... 53 minutes I took control properly for the first time, and we both enjoyed it. But then partway through the night I kicked you (whoops!) and at the time I completely disregarded your feelings. Then this morning I felt so bad about it that we couldn't start back again and everything went downhill and when I invited you out you politely refused but I know you were out later without me. Sometimes I think you care the most when I am pulling away 120211 ... raze was half-expected, but it still took me by surprise. it was nice. it made me look forward to similar future nights, just when i thought there wouldn't be any more nights like that at all. 130724 ... raze i had the strange sensation, while drifting in and out of sleep, that i was not dreaming, but reading — reading massive tomes my mind was working at populating with words — words i would forget as soon as my eyes had scanned them. i didn't sleep well, but i did a lot of reading, even if i couldn't tell you what exactly i read. 131013 ... raze i couldn't get "the royal tenenbaums" out of my head. 241117 what's it to you? who go blather from