all_these_wasted_years
knot meat
when
you're
surrounded
by
your
past
,
what
good
is
the
future
?
to
know
they
were
wasted
means
,
well
,
it
means
you
were
once
of
the
sort
who
wanted
them
to
be
different
.
and
it
means
,
you
still
know
that
.
but
it's
a
needle
in
the
haystack
to
find
that
,
that
you
who
would've
done
otherwise
.
040922
...
unhinged
it
doesn't
make
much
sense
for
me
to
go
back
there
.
sense
in
the
way
that
you
think
about
it
and
the
logic
does
not
present
itself
i
.e.
senseless
.
but
you
know
,
maybe
it
wasn't
so
much
the
place
that
made
me
miserable
as
that
it
was
a
convienent
and
extroverted
excuse
to
blame
it
on
the
place
.
i
believe
i
am
different
now
.
stronger
now
.
have
a
greater
tendency
to
sustain
sobriety
now
.
that
those
years
were
wasted
because
i
am
weak
.
or
i
guess
to
maintain
my
current
trend
,
was
weak
.
i
still
have
my
moments
and
hours
and
days
of
weakness
.
but
they
tend
to
be
interspersed
with
lengthening
periods
of
strength
.
and
we'll
be
living
together
there
me
and
her
and
her
kitty
.
one
of
the
strongest crutches
we've
both
had
to
hold
each
other
up
in
the
past
horrible
years
;
friendship
.
that
and
i
need
a
cheap
place
to
live
so
i
can
work
myself
out
of
debt
.
which
that
in
and
of
itself
is
not
so
senseless
.
but
mostly
it
is
because
i
felt
comfortable
there
somehow
and
i
feel
the
need
to
go
back
there
the
way
i
am
now
and
rub
it
in
all
of
their
faces
.
that
in
the
time
it
took
you
to
cut
your
shit
up
and
be
in
and
out
of
rehab
five
or
six
times
,
i've
actually
done
something
with
my
life
.
and
maybe
to
pick
one
or
two
up
that
haven't
since
found
their
way
out
.
gussie
is
such
a
damn
cute
cat
.
the
thought
of
the
three
of
us
living
together
would
make
even
tyler
shudder
a
bit
i
think
.
040922
...
DAn
Wish
I'd
never
.......
040922
...
unhinged
homesick
ivet
090602
...
jane
i
should
have
been
born
earlier
so
i
could
have
wasted
more
.
090602
what's it to you?
who
go
blather
from
