♥ of glass sometimes it's just so horrible to be female!

or maybe it's just me - maybe i should be more preoccupied with my hair and nails (but really who can care that much about chiton?). i can't stop thinking, and feeling, and thinking about my feelings. i feel like i'm losing it!

females. girls. our whole lives we are spoon-fed these utopian ideals of true love and romance and knights in shining armour and how wonderful we supposedly are. but then we grow up and realize those dreams are shit and the world can be a jerkoff and sometimes we hate ourselves and carry our burdens silently and sometimes not so silent.

and it's not like this happens once. my life has been all building up and breaking down. when you left, it was breaking down. and one of the ways i coped with it was by convincing myself how in love with me you were going to be when you came back, and i had that whole little house in the middle of nowhere dream, just you and me. and it occured to me today: you might really not love me.

am i flying out there to see someone who is no longer in love with me?

were you EVER in love with me?

i don't want to do this anymore. i don't want to do this alone anymore. i feel like i'm dying on the inside. i feel like a fool.
Lemon_Soda I blame the media.

A Fairy Tale is just a Fairy Tale, after all.
♥ of glass it would be nice to blame the media, but i find it was mostly my overbearing female relatives that told me how boys would be chasing me down the street, and how if you stick around long enough they always propose. 080418
unhinged emotional_bulimia

thanks for not replying
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