ambushed Ungreat Its_all_in_your_head The_feelings Ambushed Harrassed Disliked Criticized Overwhelmed Wanting to disappear Not in death, though it is part of the stew of swirling thoughts alongside self loathing. ...In highschool I used to want to get hurt or starve myself enough to pass out. Just lose control. Or better be comatose and wake up thin and past the peak of my anxiety and immediate stress. Always hoping for a happy accident. Now as I've gained perspective, I'm conflicted with fear and romanticized want of such a situation... If there were a pill I would take it. If there were a place I would be there. If there were a mantra, a concept, a word I would tattoo it to body, to my heart, to my soul never to forget and integrate it into every action and part of my being. But there's no silver bullet. So I try and fail and try and fail. The worst is, this is almost as good as I imagined it. How can I truly not be grateful. Its_all_in_my_head 151130 ... Ungreat When every paranoid, anxious thought is confirmed, and I'm ambushed with a dozen more. I don't know how to hold it together. 160203 ... PIMP Dear faggots the next time you feel insulted, ask my boyfriend why he took the piss writing a diary. it isn't funny what your ashamed of, it will end the entire world. and the pimp just thinks he's sexy. 160204 ... p I am insulted by your language you sound like Frank Bruno about to look a boxing match. 160204 ... f I think what they mean is don't be a little flower someone planted, be a flower a weed produced. 160204 what's it to you? who go blather from