i_am_hopeless dondeestanlosjaguares it's been so long since i last had a time when i could say i was in love and i rightfully belonged to someone. it's been so long and i wish for it, i almost feel like i need it. time has not been cruel, it is not because of time that i haven't yet found someone else. maybe i just haven't found the one, or haven't found someone willing to commit as much as i would. be even now, i feel like i wouldn't be able to commit. perhaps i am too afraid, perhaps i am too unrehearsed in the process. but is love something you have to practice? does everybody have their two cents to put in about love? seems like everyone is the expert except me. i am a true romantic and i know little of the subject. i am hopeless. . . i have a friend that i love so much it hurts. but though i am over the love we once held, that doesn't mean that it cannot exist once again. that fear of falling into a love like that again, has kept me away from her, even though i always wish to be closer. i have other friends that can have potential, but it seems like there is some kind of shield that won't let them or me get close enough to each other. am i just supposed to be alone? how much longer do i have to be asking these questions? i hate questions with no answers, or questions with so many variables that it almost seems impossible to answer them directly. life is beautiful, and all much more when there are no complications. a simple life is beautiful, a complicated one. . . can be fun? annoying? stressful? i need love to exist in this world, i need a love to exist in my life. where is she? why is she not here? am i not ready, because i feel like i am, maybe i'm not? i am truly complicated. i want an answer, i want a solution, if only there were a promise to one, i would so be open to suggestions. . . 050125 ... stork daddy nice to meet you hopeless...i'm doomed. this is my friend, ignorantly blissful. 050125 ... dondeestanlosjaguares well, mr doomed, nice to meet you, and ignorantly blissful seems nice enough. its good to know that though i am hopeless, i am not alone. . . say, do you think you can introduce me to ms right-for-me? if you know her, that is. 050126 what's it to you? who go blather from