this_time_with_patience
unhinged
cultivate_patience
pain
dissolves
my
patience
.
i
am
having
a
hard
time
lifting
my
arm
to
my
mouth
to
eat
.
i
can't
sleep
.
i
can't
do
yoga
.
i
can't
carry
groceries
AND
my
violin
home
at
the
same
time
so
i
have
to
plan
out
my
shopping
to
not
coincide
with
bringing
my
instrument
home
from
work
.
i
can
barely
play
twinkle
twinkle
little
star
let
alone
tchaikovsky
and
brahms
,
the
music
i
really
want
to
be
playing
.
i
felt
like
i
was
getting
somewhere
with
him
.
not
'
with
him'
but
with
myself
because
of
him
.
then
he
walked
out
on
me
because
of
his
own
shit
,
and
my
patience
cracked
from
the
weight
of
being
abandoned
and
MY
pride
and
fear
got
in
the
way
.
i
was
pissed
when
he
called
;
i
was
pissed
when
he
didn't
call
.
i
can't
meditate
because
all
i
do
is
cry
.
i
lit
some
incense
and
sat
down
on
the
cushion
and
in
a
few
breaths
i
was
bawling.
my
clothes
,
my
skin
,
felt
suffocating
.
i
can't
do
this
alone
.
i
can't
question
my
entire
livelihood,
i
can't
not
be
able
to
express
my
passion
,
i
can't
not
be
able
to
do
what
i
love
and
be
all
alone
.
i_need_more_hugs
and
i
can't
expect
the
people
in
my
life
to
know
that
without
telling
them
.
i_need_you
come_back
100424
...
oren
Violins
are
magical
.
100424
...
unhinged
brahms
violin
sonatas
performed
by
henryk szeryng
and
arthur rubinstein
(
i
want
more
than
anything
to
be
able
to
play
right
now
)
100424
...
unhinged
the_next_time
i'll
do
better
promise
but
me_and_you
don't
have
anything
left
for
me
to
go
back
to
valium
knocked
you
out
of
me
once
and
for
all
(
cause
i
know
i
told
you
before
that
day
that
benzos
were
a
bad
idea
for
you
)
110317
what's it to you?
who
go
blather
from
