absent_minded raze it's when you're thinking about implausible moments in the "home alone" movies, uma thurman's character in "gattaca", the strangeness of teeth, the most interesting dream you had last night, and the documentary you just watched about the insular world of irish traveller bare-knuckle boxing, all at the same time, that you might catch yourself about to use toothpaste on your face as if it were soap, and you might wonder if there are a few too many arbitrary things jockeying for position in your mind in the middle of before-bed bathroom business. 131221 ... raze and it's when you're reading about mysterious disappearances that cannot be explained at some ungodly hour that you stop yourself right at the moment you're about to pour iced tea on your sushi thinking it's plum sauce and say, "well, it might not taste so bad, but that ain't what i was aiming to do." 150609 ... epitome of incomprehensibility I was waiting to cross the road at the intersection of University and Sherbrooke. I'd just been thinking that I didn't like being sick, but high fevers were worse than vomiting because vomiting was predictable. (Colds are not as predictable, but not as bad as either.) Then I thought, "What if death could be exactly predictable?" I imagined a digital clock counting down to death. You could take your last breath, then, bam - what would happen? My imagining frightened me a little (I didn't grasp the thought's association to that morning's Dilbert cartoon) but when I saw the streetlight to my right, which was counting down 5-4-3-2-1, the coincidence struck me as very funny. I laughed and, feeling confident, stepped forward when it hit zero... and then I saw the cars coming from the other side (the light hadn't fully changed yet). I shrank back, free not to die for a while. 150617 ... raze and it's right about the time you're thinking of what you might blathe about later tonight when you wind up standing in the laundry room, wrestling with the old silver button that starts the dryer, pressing it and pressing it to no avail, using both hands at the same time, shoving that button into itself so hard it starts to hurt your hands, thinking, "great, now the dryer's dead," living inside that pocket of proverbial lint for a good ninety seconds before you notice you've left the dryer door wide open, so of course the thing won't start. 210926 ... raze and it's when you're busy thinking about prescription glasses that you throw the socks you've pulled from your feet into a recycling box without thinking anything of it, only realizing what you've done when you're about to chuck an empty bottle of water in the same box a few minutes later. 211111 ... raze and it's when you're ruminating on the strangeness of another grey, rainy, unseasonably warm (but still chilly) christmas that you have to stop yourself from pouring a bottle of orange juice into your bowl of cheerios, because those two things don't go together. or do they? 211226 ... raze and it's when you're thinking about what you're going to have for dinner tomorrow and asking yourself if you really want to haul your half-broken ring light down the stairs that you can't understand where that one specific spiral notebook disappeared to when you were just using it a minute ago, so you spend a good five minutes searching the room for any sign of it and yelling at the universe for messing with your head before noticing the book in question has been inches away from your face the whole time, and you were somehow confusing it with something other than itself. 220223 ... raze and it's when you're singing the toto song "hold the line" in your head, trying to remember as many of the lyrics as you can while buttering an onion bun, that you might observe a dull-edged knife turned the wrong way, being asked to do things no butter knife should have to endure. 220331 ... raze and it's when you're playing van morrison's "old old woodstock" on the radio that lives inside your head and laughing about the dallas mavericks torching the phoenix suns last night, knocking them out of the playoffs after chris paul and devin booker started acting like their 2-0 series lead was insurmountable, that you catch sight of your hand about to screw a juice bottle cap into the bowl of an empty drinking glass. 220516 ... raze and it's when you're remembering some insane random thing your dad just said in an email that you have to hold yourself back from spitting a mouthful of water and toothpaste into the garbage pail beside your bathroom sink. 220717 ... raze and it's when you're walking into that same bathroom while cracking up over an absurd typo you made that you have to remind yourself an empty plastic bottle is not something you can flush down the toilet. 220815 ... tender_square i lifted my glasses from my face to my head after opening the dishwasher and getting steamed out. at some point, i lowered the frames back to my face. minutes later, i was touching the top of my head trying to locate them, not realizing i was already seeing through the lenses. 220815 ... raze and it's when your mind is on some other thing you can't find that you come within a finger flick of tossing your glasses in the trash in place of the kleenex tissue you mean to dispose of. 220830 ... raze and it's when you're worried about one of your backyard_visitors that you start walking to the fridge with your camera's lens_cap in hand instead of the milk carton you intended to return to the top shelf. 221031 ... tender_square it’s when you're trying to hustle and you hear a powerful hiss while sitting on the can that you realize it's not the strength of your piss; you mistakenly set the espresso machine to “steam” and not on “brew.” 221112 ... raze and it's when you're running on not enough sleep and thinking about time wasters on the internet that the plastic cap you intended to screw back onto an open bottle of orange juice will turn and turn with no discernible progress made, and you'll look at your hands to discover you've been trying to get the thing to bond with a drinking glass twice its size. 221125 ... raze and it's when you're thinking about frostbitten fingers and the importance of a good pair of gloves that you shove your freshly-charged camera battery into the case that keeps your prescription sunglasses from gathering dust. 221227 ... raze and it's when you're fine-tuning something you want to say to someone you love that you look all over the place for where you stashed your camera, failing to notice its strap already slung around your neck. 230108 ... tender_square it's when you're so focused on doing your bedtime rituals that you forget to put the groceries away that you left on the counter. 230220 ... raze and it's when you're being blasted by a renegade train_whistle for the millionth time this month that you slide your box of cereal into the fridge. 230221 ... e_o_i I put a book in a fridge once. 230221 ... e_o_i I was moving two things around, and I only realized my mistake when I put the milk or juice on top of a ledge (so it wasn't the weird thing-placement that clued me in, but the relatively ordinary one). 230221 ... raze and it's when you're trying to remember if today's piano tuning was scheduled for noon or one o'clock that you slide your left foot into the slipper meant for your right. 230324 ... raze and it's when you're trying to figure out what to call an old friend who's returned to the fray that you forget how to spell your own red name in a dream. 230328 ... raze and it's when you're trying to hitch a ride on a lost train of thought that you almost take a swig of salad dressing as if it were water. 230419 ... raze and it's when you're worried about a furry friend that you start to stash that same bottle of juice in the kitchen cupboard that held the glass you just finished filling. 230426 ... raze and it's when you're talking_to_yourself and polishing a piece of a poem that you decide a dish towel is the next non-perishable thing you should refrigerate. 230526 ... raze and it's when you're rounding up empty recycling boxes that you realize you left your nut sack out on the porch for anyone passing by to pilfer. 230527 ... tender_square it's when your mother is having a deep discussion about gender dymorphia while trying to discipline the dog that she yells out "dysmorphia!" impatiently instead of "ruby!" 230611 ... raze and it's when you're attempting to map out a day that hasn't even had a chance to stretch its legs yet that you forget you've already slicked your skin with sunscreen and ready yourself to apply a second coat. 230618 ... raze and it's when you're exhausted and fighting not to fall asleep while blathing that you inadvertently employ a vulgar slang term for genitalia when you're only trying to make sagging eyelids sound poetic. 230713 ... raze and it's when you're formulating a response to a question that hasn't yet been asked that you step into a pair of pants while still wearing the shorts you aim to replace them with. 230716 ... raze and it's when you're admiring the tiny yellow leaf the wind blew your way that you don't think to open the garage door all the way, leaving you to crack your head on it when you're putting an empty garbage pail back where it came from. 231018 ... raze and it's when you're trying to remember what you had for breakfast yesterday that you grab two drinking glasses when one will do. 231025 ... raze and it's when you're thinking about the need to buy a new flash drive that you open a tube of toothpaste and prepare to spread it across your face almost a decade to the day that your brain confused it with a skin-friendly cleansing agent in this blathe's very first entry. 231205 ... Soma I’m never absent minded. For to say so implies my mind is unaware. I just have moments of deprioritizing my present awareness in favor of other highly desirable mental processes. Autopilot has its flaws. So I’ll misplace my phone for a day or two, or I’ll forget my wallet when i leave the house. After all, I have more important things to think about! I’m just present minded in a more optimal location, after all, multitasking is a myth. 231206 ... e_o_i I just put chili powder instead of cinnamon in my breakfast porridge. (But I mixed in more cinnamon and it doesn't taste half bad.) 231219 ... raze and it's when you're trying to catch a few furtive backyard_visitors before they're gone that you do your best to step into a pair of slippers while already wearing shoes. 231224 ... raze and it's when you're realizing you've forgotten to attend to some important before-bed business that you might poke yourself in the eye with the right arm of your own glasses while attempting to put them on without really paying_attention to what you're doing. 240116 ... raze and it's when you're thinking of nothing in particular that you reach out for your deodorant with an aim to take a swig of something that cannot be consumed. 240329 ... e_o_i On Wednesday I forgot what one of my current courses was. AND the one I forgot was Old Egyptian. It was past ten and I was coming down with a bug (see sick_mind) but STILL. 240329 ... raze and it's when you're catching your breath after a set of squats that you momentarily consider brushing your teeth with a washcloth. 240410 ... raze and it's when you're trying to file away a reminder to clean your glasses later that you open the fridge to put your daily vitamins inside, where they'll be of no use to you. 240419 what's it to you? who go blather from