battery
raze i pulled a triple-a battery out of a digital hygrometer after someone who's supposed to know about these things told me it wasn't taking accurate readings. he said some fresh cells would sort it right out.

i used to lick nine-volt batteries when i was a kid so i could feel the terminal shock my tongue. i never took the time to read what any of their bodies had to tell me.

this one said, "warning: may explode or leak if recharged, disposed of in fire, or dissected. do not ingest."

what i want to know is this: who the hell would want to eat a battery? i mean, we all get tired sometimes. but i don't think swallowing a few alkaline capsules is the answer to anything.

he was wrong, too. the hygrometer still shows the same humidity level it did before i swapped out the old green battery for a new red one. nothing has changed.
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