paying_attention raze i was eating a cookie, thinking about a book i read, thinking about what i was inspired to write after reading and how little what i wrote had to do with what i read in terms of attitude or content, thinking about what the thing i wrote would look like italicized, and i realized i was thinking about the reading_and_writing more than i was savouring the cookie. the chewing and tasting and swallowing was happening on some level of awareness further down the somatosensory cortex. it wasn't fair to the cookie to treat it as an afterthought. it was a good cookie with a lot to offer, if i'd taken the time to notice it. it got me thinking. how many times in my life have i gone on autopilot without knowing it? how many times have i been reading and skimmed a few passages not because i was losing interest, but because an unrelated thought came into my head and i chose to follow it for a while? how many times has my attention wavered while listening to music i meant to attack with complete concentration? how many times has my brain rotated away from a conversation while the other person delivers their monologue, taking care to keep my head nodding and re-establishing eye contact at key moments but only registering the broadest outline of what's being said? it took some figuring, but i came up with a number: 792 times. spread over three decades, that's not so bad, is it? i should probably try to pay more attention to things, though. like good cookies. 131103 ... gja If you are not pissed off with the world the you are just not paying attention. 131103 ... raze i'm trying to notice every leaf on every tree so i can ask them all, "how are you? how are you? how are you?" and really mean it. but most of the time i end up getting lost in the intricate puzzle of the outer bark. still, i think there are worse ways to spend your days. 210929 what's it to you? who go blather from