falling_down pushpins whoohoo! clutching tickets to heaven, my flight leaves in the beginning of june. and the dreams dance in my head, just as sweet as the sugarplum dreams in "the night before christmas" but much more naughty. and I sigh and slide into my seat, hitting #1 to hear the message repeat in my voicemail because I love the way he says "Whats up Jamie?" and then its erased because i'll hear more of that later. and once its all blank, the plain appears with white burning my eyes without shadows. and the vacancy is depressing in all its confining glory. and with a *pop* and a *whizz* and a *bang* --because I love onomatopoeia-- this guy appears gaunt and worn and I recognize him, this familiar_stranger ((enuff references to that yet?, lol). and shoulders sag and my tickets fall into the milky pools of nothingness and cliched rhymes and phrases and feelings. and I remember the love and the speed and the passion and I want to die for you in a blissful rose petal way, but all I can do is stare at happiness_in_a_harness 020228 ... birdmad watching old movies again "i'm the bad guy?" 020228 ... yummyC im sorry i dont knwo what to do besides cry and its elfish and its the consuming sort of sobs where your stomach curls until you are in a ball on the floor wailing and i halfway just want to be held but i cant think of anyone who will without having been part of the reason im crying or wanting to know too much. wait im leaving. 020228 ... unhinged there are only certain heights that i can reach without you my little chameleon hiding in the dark finding far jet planes and higher slopes a simple question is always just a little bit more a simple statement more than i ever wanted i can't breathe my heart seems to be stopping shush i never want to take another breath without_you 020301 ... yummyC ouch, my knees are at your mercy on the cold cement scraping away at my bruises from falling before just for you all for you. it seems all you want me to do. 020302 ... daf Fucking breathtakingly beautiful, Nicole. 140531 ... mobius trip D-FENS! 140531 what's it to you? who go blather from