i_dreamt_that_i_dreamt_23
crOwl "what do you mean he just got out of the truck?" dennis browne asked. "all you had to do was bring him here. it was all going so smoothly. what the fuck?" he sighed heavily and swirled a glass of red wine along the surface of the kitchen table in his topanga canyon home and sat abruptly back against the chair like a rooster about to strike. jack, the boy who had picked gavin up, only to have him unexpectedly exit, sat across from dennis, head down, defeated.

"i don't know," jack said, staring at his hands as if the answer lay somewhere amongst the young lines and folds. "i found him just like you said and he seemed cool like he could be swayed." he coughed nervously. " then he started just staring into space and said something about needing to get back to his girl."

"fuck!" dennis yelled. a siamese cat that had been washing itself at dennis's feet bolted out of the room. "fucking ruth. she can't do shit." dennis lifted the glass and quickly drained its contents, throwing his head and swallowing audibly. jack looked up at him, waiting for the next judgement. "pour me another glass, will you?" he slid the glass like the heavy metal magnet of a bar's mini bowling game. it stopped right in front of jack.
"what did she say ? what the fuck went wrong?"

jack got up and found the bottle of rioja and poured the red liquid halfway into dennis's glass. "she said she was on his lap, but the next thing she knew she was on the fucking ground." he placed the glass in front of dennis. "she said once that chick started singing he got all uptight and shit."

dennis gulped at the wine and closed his bloodshot eyes a moment. he slammed his open hand against the table top.

"listen," he said. "i want gavin to work for me, no i fucking NEED gavin to work for me. the dude's got this mellow way about him that's perfect for what's about to go down in the north. a whole new road is opening up and he's going to run it. everybody wants this new shit and they're paying anything for it. but FUCK...this girl lilly is..." he took another huge drink. he wiped his mouth sloppily with the shirt at his wrist.
"she's in the way jack."

jack could hear the ticking of the clock on the wall.

"what are we going to do?" he asked, grabbing the back of his kitchen chair. he looked down at his knuckles. they were white with the strain. he knew dennis would get his way. he always did.

"alright," dennis said, emptying the glass and pounding it down. he looked out the window to the rolling sagebrush mounds and a neat row of avocado trees."i want you to spend every fucking moment of your day finding out all you can about gavin... what he does, where he works, shops, who his friends are...i'll take care of lilly. she's going to get so fucking busy, she won't have time for anything but her new career. call maggie and tell her to meet me at gladstones for lunch at three. if ruth can't steal gavin, i know she will." 		080301
...
unhinged lilly was wandering around nancy's shop trying to get an idea for spring flowers. she also wanted to drop off the winter flower series. lilly's new favorite part of being a painter was fast becoming the smiles people got when they really liked something she did.

'i think this one is my favorite.' nancy held up the frozen holly berries with a big grin. 'you know i can't remember the last time there was a deep freeze around here.'

lilly laughed. 'that's why i moved here. what are your favorite spring flowers nancy?'

'nothing exotic dear. tulips and daffodils. although these days, there are so many different kinds of both, different colors and shapes. some with ruffles, some without. i don't know how they do that...plant genetics are amazing.'

'the things people do when they're bored.'

nancy looked up from the new shipment of roses she was sorting. 'what?'

'gregor mendel, the guy that came up with genetics. he was a monk. he started with pea plants. i wouldn't have the patience to wait for plants to grow, but i guess gregor didn't have much better to do. besides pray to god. now that i think of it, that's a good story. a monk coming up with one of the most important science experiments of all time...i wonder if he felt conflicted about that.'

nancy chuckled. 'i'm sure he thought he was being god's instrument. how are you and gavin doing?'

lilly looked up startled. 'why would you ask that?'

'because i'm a wise old lady dear. besides, at dennis's party he asked you to marry him in front of a big crowd of people and you said nothing.'

'we're fine.' lilly walked away to a far corner of the store and nancy watched with raised eyebrows.

'my selection of spring flowers is low right now because it's winter. they have to be grown in greenhouses. they are expensive.'

lilly found some tulips and daffodils and iris and even one lonely stem of hydrangea. 'i'll be back next week with the spring paintings. bye nancy.'

before nancy could reply, the bells on the door were tinkling and lilly was gone. 		080302
...
crOwl gavin sat solidly on his surfboard, straddling it like some small beast of the sea he could ride on the moving waves. the water was cold, but tolerable. the air was calm and smelled like kelp. the sets were small but consistent. gavin was starting a new job as a gardener at a sprawling ocean resort and spa that was built back in the 1930's and had time to surf before he punched the clock.

as he dangled his feet and patiently waited, he thought back on the day he first met lilly and remembered the initial magnetic attraction. how they had seemed to come from two worlds and then collided. two planets spinning out of control smashing into each other and then creating something new. when he learned of how her parents were murdered and she survived because the gun was out of bullets, he felt once more the soul-sucking desire to rescue her. to become the contents that would fill her empty whole, a crater left in the wake of a fate bomb. he succeeded somewhat, he figured, especially as a support for her as an emerging artist. and that's what he always wanted to be for her. a support, not only monetarily but, soulful as well, soul and body. one definition of love, perhaps. maybe that's what a husband is, he reasoned.

yet, in many other ways, he had failed her. he was selfish for one thing. and another was his wandering eye and his weakness for feminine attention. he sighed, but then abruptly dropped flat to his board. a set was arriving. it was the middle wave he wanted. she was sweet and looked unusually large. he paddled quickly, cutting his hands into the glassy morning seawater like knives into meat. his feet kicked furiously. in his excitement he accidently gulped a mouthful of saltwater and simply swallowed it.

he rode the first bump as it glided under him and a vision of lilly painting in her tiny studio at the top of the steps with its open window and pouring sunlight bathing her suddenly formed inside his head. and then the second wave of the set, already gaining more strength and shape, came up to him and made herself available if he was willing. his breath caught in his chest as the vision snapped off. he stopped paddling and sat up, turning himself around, then dropped his chest flat to the board and began paddling with the rhythm necessary to greet her as she arrived.

just as he mounted the wave, and stood to his feet in a precise and definite move of balance and symmetry, he thought once more of lilly and could now see the painting she was working on. it was a white circle inside a black square. down the face of the five foot wave he descended, feeling like he was floating on a velvety mountain that was alive. when he reached the bottom, he quickly shifted his weight and pointed the nose of his board upwards, shooting like a roman candle, quickly reaching the rip curling top where he flung the tail of his board and a splash of foam, revealing the tri-fins for a brief milli-second and appearing as though he could continue flying into the sky. but, gravity quickly brought him back down to the bottom where he did it all over again, each one with increased passion until the wave closed up and tired out.

breathing hard, gavin sat back down on his board and then rode the wash of white water, returning to the shore. he undid his leash, walked the rocks up to the saab, and strapped his board to the rack. getting a towel from the back seat, he unzipped his wetsuit to the waist and then tied the towel around his torso so he could remove the rest of the neoprene suit. he put his jeans on, slid into a t-shirt and hoodie and then headed started the car.

three cars down, another engine started. as gavin backed up and pulled out of the parking lot, the car, nondescript and black, driven by a lone driver, pulled out into the pavement and followed unoticed behind him. 		080302
...
unhinged it was winter. there was about two feet of snow on the ground. lilly was running through the forest. she realized in the back of her head she must be dreaming, but it was one of those nightmares that you can't wake from. even after you become concious of the fact you are dreaming, you can't wake up from it. her heart started to race. her feet started to kick. she turned over in her sleep. in her mind, she was still running through a winter cloaked forest.

she came to the clearing in the forest that was her sanctuary when she was young. dennis browne stood in front of her in a business suit with a skeleton grin on his face. he pointed at her and began to laugh. it was the evil chuckle of a powerful man. suddenly a shot rang out. she could feel wetness on her face. coltrane limped into the clearing dripping blood.

and then coltrane was standing over her on the bed, licking her face.

she pushed him away so she could sit up. 'damn dog. you know i don't like face kisses.' she swatted him away again. the memory of her dream hit her in the gut.

dennis had called her a couple days before wanting to see her oeuvre. he said he wanted to get her some more commissions because nancy couldn't stop raving about her work. she sat up on the couch and threw her legs over the side.

'i don't trane. that dream seemed like_a_portent . ' lilly sighed. gavin had been enthusiastic about the opportunity. he was always very encouraging. but something didn't feel right. there was just something about dennis lilly didn't like.

she went upstairs to her studio and tried to paint the way his laugh sounded. 		080305
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