chalk deb even my bones are tired lumping themselves in a corner folding in on themselves grinding each other to chalk and yet i sit very much awake (so much for not having anything to say) 010329 ... birdmad if there was such a category, i wonder if my school would have voted me most likely to have my own chalk outline when i was a kid either that or "most likely to end up on the back of a milk carton" yeah. 010930 ... ... "it tastes like chalk..." 040108 ... lab rat yeah, but that doesn't happen like that. people don't just go, "oh i'm going to get you," and then do it. well maybe sometimes, but they usually don't warn you. 040221 ... flashpopbang ...in my eyes, yo it's been so long so long so long and is it bad to wonder where you are or how you are? it was all so different just six years ago! formative years? much. we used to walk in the same hallways and smell the same town and once we were bumpy and ugly in a tiny slanted room and it will always be a Something for me because i was the one who bled, another hole got made in me. this ghost! some kind of old, sick, hidden, hurt doberman that i never paid attention to. it's all mirror slivers and cobwebs and old silent family films now, believe me -- but sometimes the furnace rumbles and the basement comes up for breakfast. i don't believe who i was. i don't believe it. i wouldn't want anything to do with me, either. i wasn't effortlessly sexy or smart or political or anything artistic shy men want. not that i am now, either. who was i kidding. that cringe cuts a deep line into my thigh and i'm not sure i'll ever welcome it. 061108 what's it to you? who go blather from