please_argue_with_me_instead epitome of incomprehensibility You're all good souls - I mean it - and you don't deserve each others' anger, so I respectfully submit that you get mad at me instead. No, seriously. If you want to vent, I invite you to do so on this designated blathe (of course, you can do it on other blathes too - this is an invitation, not an order). You know who I am, or you will soon enough. I like you all - unhinged raze tender_square no_reason kerry past Soma Bizzar, although I don't know you well yet - and I don't want you to get into arguments. *I* don't want to get into arguments. I've had enough of that on blather blue. You're lucky I missed the first round or I probably would've been too distracted to grace you all with exciting stories about - *checks notes* - angst over puppies and Vedic Sanskrit, in that order. So here is my unbiased (read: neutral but nevertheless extremely biased, because everyone is biased) take on the whole situation - a) past was upset at the disruption is because he lives in Ottawa (as far as I remember) and so he has a closer view of it than anyone else here. When he vented about the truckers pissing him off, he didn't mean to annoy anyone here, so he was probably frustrated that it caused a backlash. This is valid. b) unhinged was upset because she feels that her viewpoint is being censored, and she's also frustrated because she's had other contentious arguments over this with others. Including me, trying to offer advice that came off as pushy. And I should have known better - even though I passionately believe that the whole natural/artificial divide in medicine is a problem both ways, it's not great to pester people to think the same way as you. Especially when they're grieving and angry. So it's partly my fault that she'd have such a strong-seeming pushback. That is also valid. c) As far as I read things, kerry wasn't actively trying to censor anyone, just expressing surprise that people were arguing on a blathe that seemed to have nothing to do with the topic she brought up. This is valid too. d) some of tender_square's words on "unhinged" grated on me at first - they felt too much like gatekeeping - but I'm probably reading my own prejudices into that. And I've talked to her about other things before; while you'd think our personalities would totally clash - she's hyper-organized and I'm scatterbrained, for instance - she did the hard work of reaching out to me where I was (pardon the cliché) and this doesn't strike me as something an essentially intolerant person would do. Also, it makes sense that she would feel protective of blather. So that is valid. e) raze: see above, for being protective of blather. He's had a long history with these red and blue pages, almost as long as unhinged's. I've probably talked with him by email more than anyone else here, and I know he can get hotheaded and hold grudges sometimes. Sometimes I've tried to push back on that, without being too obvious about it. But he's also very kind and genuine, and he just sent me pictures of adorable squirrels. So that is valid - the squirrels in particular. f) e_o_i? Where to start? Sure, she thinks that the whole COVID vaccine debate is a dangerous distraction from the looming climate crisis. She contends that both the vaccines' beneficial and harmful effects have been overhyped because people just want something tangible to focus on, something that they feel they can have control over. She's had three for COVID, with no serious side effects (seriously, a panic attack can fuck her up far worse). But she also thinks that the vaccine passports were a mistake from the beginning because they divide people unnecessarily. Is this valid? Possibly. Possibly not. It's probably just the thrill of being contrary, if we're being honest. And others will cringe at her offering abstract philosophizing without hard evidence, but she'll tell you again that we should really be talking about global warming instead (and then proceed to blather about Proto-Indo-European and whatever her brother said to the puppy yesterday). ... So please feel free to tell her in detail why she's wrong, because - let's face it - she probably is. But, before that, she'd like to remind everyone to forgive themselves and each other, because it's good Christian karma to do so. 220222 ... e_o_i Jesus Christ divide by zero, I sound so stupid. Sure, I still stand by my (non-violent) guns about not getting into fights over disagreements...but as I read over this, the "Christian karma" thing seemed pat and cheesy, instead of playful like I meant it to be. Also, the line "I've probably talked with [raze] by email more than anyone else here" sounds like I'm boasting I've talked to him more than anyone else here has. Which sounds boastful and probably isn't true. What I *meant* to say was that I've emailed him more than I've emailed other blatherskites, so far. 220222 ... raze i appreciate what you're saying here. but i don't want to argue with you, e_o_i. i don't think any of us do. you're my friend. i love you. all i want to do is support you and read your brilliant words. i think it's best that we just don't talk about this stuff here. at all. i'm not condoning censorship. but it's such a divisive subject, it seems like whenever this comes up it just leads to nasty arguments. we've seen how that's destroyed other online communities. i don't own red_blather more than anyone else who isn't named dallas, but i don't want to see that happen here. not after spending the last nine of the twenty-one years i've been here working to try and help this place slouch back into the special collection of souls it was once upon a time. which has somehow actually happened. i mean, yesterday was the busiest day we've had here in almost half as long as red has been alive. that's bonkers. i've tried to never say anything on blather that makes anyone feel attacked or judged in any way. i've tried to stay right out of this whole recent ... thing as much as i can, in the hope that it would blow over and we could just forget about it. so i'm not sure why i'm getting dragged into it now. if it's because of what i wrote on "brawl" last night, that wasn't about any of this. it was about me and my own personal stuff. a message to myself to kick against the impulse i have in my life away from blather to get wrapped up in negativity and cynicism, and a message to the negative energy itself. that's who and what i was really addressing as my "opponent". i had to work hard behind the scenes to make sure everyone affected by the unfortunate incident of a few weeks ago was okay, doing damage control to keep this community from falling apart. for a while there, no one else was writing much. i think what happened was pretty jarring after how conflict-free things had been here for so long. cassie and i ran ourselves ragged during that lean period, keeping things going and changing the temperature in the room. we could have lost a lot of people after what was said in anger. they might not have come back. but we all care too much about this place and one another to let that happen. as for being hotheaded and holding grudges, if i'm honest, it hurts to read that. i love this place. i love the people here. i've fought to keep them safe. i do get angry when someone blatantly disrespects red and its 'skites, as i did a million years ago when someone who had no consideration or appreciation for anyone around them risked the complete extinction of blather with some grossly unethical and dangerous behaviour. i won't apologize for fighting to protect this place and keep it sacred. can we just end this line of conversation and get on with sharing our hearts and minds and dreams with one another? please? 220223 ... Bizzar is what it felt like for me, every day, from in the closet. it is not living, standing in the doorway - cracking the door open, peaking out at the world that could be yours. uncertainty. doubts. guilt. but what will they think? will i lose them all? or will i just lose me? and now that the door has been ripped from the hinges and smashed against a wall, there is no closing it. i can't close the door on me anymore. and i think that means that i have to close the door on you. 220223 ... Bizzar apologies - this was supposed to go under losing_me, but the page errored and when I refreshed I didn't realize it changed the word post on me. 220223 ... raze no worries, bizzar. i think that's happened to all of us at one time or another. :) 220223 ... past blather is a crowded_table, a big ruckus family. in a way that makes it so familiar and homely to me. i have an enormous, growing, immediate family but an almost nonexistent extended one, except those families of words these blue and red pages (and a few other corners of the entanglement) have fostered. people disagree and fight and are always_already in negotiation with each other and what that family means and where we stand in it and everything. everything is flux_and_fury, but there is warmth in that. a boundless, baseless (in that stability is illusion and that's okay), chaotic fire that far from being pure destruction is a spot of solace in the black. in both worlds i can flit in and out, sometimes for shorter and sometimes for longer periods: my strategy is to fade and let things be, so i move on and let time build new understandings (or so i take comfort in telling myself at least). the ties that bring us back to eachother are messy, a gordian_knot i dare not let a truly sharp edge near (and so many of us have outlived angry alexander by now, i think). but this family has been an outlet for sharp and dark thoughts for me, often mediated, but not always. the world is always tense but the smooth colours and words flatten it out into a delicate richness (i hope). these pages are the deep_exhale of an extended family amongst the torrent. for that i remain truly grateful. 220223 ... kerry i would also like to move on from this. i care about all of you and i care about blather, and i have since i was an angsty adolescent. i regretted saying anything at all a few weeks ago, but we can't erase anything we write here. perhaps i'm being obnoxiously optimistic, but i do think we can put this to rest. i'm not going anywhere. 220223 ... e_o_i raze, I'm sorry!!! I didn't come across well; I wasn't trying to blame you for anything, and it wasn't about "brawl" at all. Which is a thoughtful piece of work, by the way. I don't know *exactly* what was going through my tired stupid head yesterday, but here's my best guess: 1) I suppose I thought you'd magically understand that the "hotheaded" part was a reference to our conversations in the past, e.g. when you'd bring up your grudges against people who promised to do music with you and didn't (which, to be fair, is a reasonable thing to be upset about). Aaaaaand I thought that you'd recognize that as a bit of hypocritical humour on my part because I'm far, far worse in the anger management department. It was sort of a solidarity thing about having something in common. But clearly that wasn't what came across, and I don't know what to say except I'm sorry. also 2) I was trying to avoid addressing the particular paragraph that upset me the most, which I should face head-on. Don't worry, it doesn't have to do with vaccines or politics. And I'm not mad at the person who wrote it anymore (I can't be, she's been so nice to me overall) but I just want to point out what bothered me. If that is also over the line, I apologize, but I *DO* want to make this a place where no one is made to feel unwelcome. Saying "let's not argue about politics here" makes sense. Telling someone she's "defiling" a blathe strikes me as unfair. 220223 ... e_o_i *sigh* ...and that sounded harsh too. I'm sorry, Cassie. I expressed myself better on "unhinged" (I hope). 220223 ... nr past, are you being british, or calling us ugly (re the word "homely")? ;) pardon the grammar_nitpick, but just wanted to add some levity here. i do have more to say on all this though. 220224 ... past home like? i initially had homey, but it looked wrong. familier et agréable, comme chez nous. un maison désorganisé mais toujours confortable, bruyant mais paisible. a mix of great lake swimmers "i am part of a large family" and the highwomen's "crowded table" but all voiced by me in my own head. i also can't figure out how to spell rockus or ruckous or whatever it is. 220224 ... sans raison a homey ruckus :) c'est une bonne description, passé. 220224 what's it to you? who go blather from