impulse mangrove sitting here listening to one of my songs, the ones that mean the universe knows what's going on, and wondering where i need to go back to in order to figure out where i've gone. somewhen along the way i gave up, let go, and vanished without even a trace. when that happened, for the first long while i thought it was a good thing; i thought it was an indication of the exact opposite - that i had found my way at last and that soon it would all become clear. i would grow up and it would mean something. i would look at myself and say, "you are the person you want to be, because now it is over." but i maybe forgot that getting there required something of me that i couldn't give. so now i am the one who needs someone, after i have given up on everyone else. because of that, i started on the long road back. 060408 ... auburn i miss you. 071009 ... sardines fuck 121221 what's it to you? who go blather from