11d sab and a friend of mine holds this truth aloft: that human beings are genetically only built to last till 30 genetically, the ability to produce comes at tee years, you have 10 to 15 years to raise them, protect them, ensure they can survive on their own, then thats all your needed for. but medicine and science has prolonged the human lifespan artifically decades longer than it was ever supposed to go. at around 30, the body starts to break down. because it was never built to last much longer. my hospital room will be 11d for i have willed it so. weird to think that my cells are rebelling. no, now that i think of it, its fucking typical of anything sab. theyre only doing what ive taught them too little drones mindlessly on the echos of a bigger task the butterfly affect, anger curdles black and i have the results back to prove it. 041016 ... sab i feel kind of betrayed by my body. i mean, everything and everyone has walked away evntually, and thats ok, i only ever wanted to rely on myself. but now im a little dismayed that i cannot rely on even myself to be there. little cells getting their orders confused and quietly going about the business of mutating into something else. she had a secret hidden so well inside that even she didnt know it. little cells only doing what they thought they were told little cells clinging to a wall crying out into the darkness - but i thought i was doing right i thought i was doing the right thing confused little cells unable to turn back once they set themselves on this path stubborn little cells wont go back to square one wont start again wont listen to me when i tell them to stop stubborn confused little mindless drone cells targeted for distruction FIRE! stubborn little fucking cells if only they'd listened properly to their orders in the first place 041016 what's it to you? who go blather from