your_words no reason sometimes i wish they were about me 020313 ... than what what if they are? 020314 ... lou_la_belle they make me cry feel lost and alone i can pretend all i want i can try my hardest to forget and laugh and take joy in the little things stupid things they sustain me i create a bubble my own living paradise where sadness anger and jealousy are not permitted i wish myself into a better person and leave those things behind or so i think but reading your words just reminds me how ridiculous this whole charade is and my carefully constructed facade comes crashing down i'm so happy for you i love my friends love that they're happy i just wish i was happy truly happy i mean there are many kinds of happiness and while i act out one the others elude me i can smile and mean it i'll laugh and be genuinly amused but something in me knows that i'm not actually content why else would i tear up frown and start to type after simply reading your words? it's not that i want Him. i want what you both have together and in reading your joy i realize again and again my lack of such what a wonderful thing that you found such light i can only wish that if i find mine it shines just as bright 040814 ... delial couldn't have said it better myself, lou... 040814 ... sad you said you'd call... apparently I missed the memo saying it as alright to lie you've hurt me, because I hardly know you and i trusted you but now it's done your beautiful face, i can see it when I close my eyes never more seen the same your words, or lack of words have taken away my faith in you 040929 ... lostgirl cut through me a knife in my heart and you don't even know it 110605 what's it to you? who go blather from