through_not_around
unhinged
embodiment
my
feelings
are
not
bad
my
feelings
are
not
wrong
my
feelings
are
not
just
neurochemicals
my
feelings
are
not
just
the
stories
i
tell
myself
my
feelings
change
my
physiology
my
feelings
literally
work
their
way
into
my
body
my
feelings
wait
til
later
my
feelings
will
not
be
ignored
so
i
sit
with
myself
and
feel
what
comes
up
191207
...
unhinged
this
is
a
deep
primordial
wound
i
spent
the
first
twelve
days
of
my
life
mostly
alone
in
an
incubator
in
a
completely
different
hospital
from
my
mother
who
had
a
bad
infection
from
my
emergency
cesarean
section
i
have
always
wanted
to
be
left
alone
when
distressed
attachment_disorder
anyone
?
i
would
pull
a
chair
over
to
the
closet
and
climb
up
to
pull
the
photo
album
out
i
would
open
it
to
the
pictures
of
me
in
the
incubator
in
the
hospital
and
make
them
tell
me
over
and
over
'
yes
that's
you'
'
are
you
sure
?'
'
yes
,
i
went
there
every
day
to
feed
you
.
that's
you
.'
i
never
wanted
to
believe
that
shriveled
red
screaming
barely
looking
humanoid laying
in
the
plastic
with
needles
and
tubes
sticking
out
of
it
was
me
he
says
'
say
to
yourself
'
may
i
be
safe''
and
immediately
the
tears
fell
in
a
hot
salty
flood
may
i
be
safe
...
i've
been
screaming
since
the
day
i
was
born
i
would
always
try
to
wriggle
out
of
his
embrace
but
he
wouldn't
let
me
go
until
every
last
anxious
flutter
ceased
200330
...
Raina
This
pain
I
must
go
This
disappointment
I
must
go
This
confusion
I
must
go
This
I
will
,
This
I
will
This
fear
I
must
go
This
longing
I
must
go
This
hunger
I
must
go
This
I
will
,
This
I
will
They
won't
get
the
best
They
don't
deserve
my
best
I
rise
to
challenge
,
pass
the
test
...
and
I
will
Now
I
only
draw
to
me
the
keys
to
be
free
Said
what
I
said
,
and
it
shall
be
This
is
my
will
.
200331
...
unhinged
step_into_fear
200401
what's it to you?
who
go
blather
from
