they_now_want_it_to_be fyn gula and where they wondered we look and all we hear is the recorded message. we listen and all we find is the pages he's left behind, a story about penguins that once hung on a school wall and fell down, only to be thrown away. we think now that we have it, he may return. so we wait. how long? until care is defined by maturity? until innocence no longer makes a shadow? until warmth invades bones? he hears her voice, she is telling him six more inches of snow has fallen. he realizes she wants him to share her wonder and they know this is when he returns and when they will find him. and when they see him arrive, they rush to greet him, but suddenly they fall head first tot he pavement and long brushburns appear on arms and legs where skin was once smooth and clear. but they pause only long enough to feel the wincing pain, to see their paperwork has scattered. he bends down first to see if they are okay, then picks up the papers one by one, questions they would ask him. and they stand there, embarressed. speechless. bleeding. he walks on and they think maybe it wasn't him, but they now want it to be. they want to be him. 010202 ... farmfish i want everything. i want nothing. i want anything at all. 011106 ... aimee first she was all gung-ho about it.. now she wants me to wait 3 years... fuck her. 011106 ... log burning fire and when they were alone again where no one could see them, they did things that others would click their tongues at, and shake their heads, and thank god they were not like that. 050901 what's it to you? who go blather from