i_am_too_drained_to_come_across_beautifully please start insulting me for this. for what i'm about to say. get upset that i've come here to complain about my breaking down. come on. yell. scream. do whatever. my_body_hurts. i'm tired. i'm fucking alone. i'm fucking sad. i was just listening to the most UNsad song and crying my bloody eyes out. i'm not sure what this means. possibly it just means that i need sleep. but i'd like to think that it means something deeper. don't we always want things to be deeper? well, some of us do. like me. fuck you. i'm sick of this. sick of shit. sick of fucking feeling like the only ones worth it are the ones that are inaccessible. fuck them. fuck fuck. i just want to rest. but the fucking thing is, i want to REALLY rest. i'm not talking about sleep or relaxation i'm talking about a break. a break from it all. i want nothing, really. nothing except for everything. fuck you. it's 6am and i've been up all night. don't fucking expect me to be eloquent. it's not in the cards. you're not in my cards. you say to let it be. well i say fuck you. it'll never make any difference. and i'm beginning to not even give a fuck. (i wish you'd fucking catch that that was a bloody lie.) this is all way too simple. i think i'm gonna hurl, because all i can FEEL is complexity. 020901 ... werewolf it's rejuvenating to say so 020901 ... werewolf or maybe it's just something said, like a way to say goodnight, or hold me, without having to say it, where we say, look i'm sick of all the translations, and i'm sick of all the near misses, and i don't see why i should even care that you could say a million and a half things that are true enough to hurt but still miss the mark enough for me to be lonlier than hurt. 020901 what's it to you? who go blather from