to_be_a_republican
Gasoline
Means
having
your
opinion
fed
to
you
by
Ann
Coulter
and
Bill
O'Reilly
Means
somehow
thinking
that
if
there
is
a
God
,
for
some
reason
he
plays
political
favourites
and
that
we
are
on
the
top
of
his
A
-list
Means
thinking
that
Henry Hyde fathering
a
child
outside
of
his
existing
marriage
when
he
was
already
42
was
a
"youthful indiscretion"
means
thinking
that
the
only
celebrities
who
are
entitled
to
political
opinion
are
the
ones
who
are
registered
Republicans
means
thinking
that
somehow
trading
arms
to
hostile
foreign
powers
is
more
easily
pardonable
than
a
knack
for
getting
laid
means
never
questioning
the
link
between
the
bin Laden
family
and
the
Carlyle
group
means
conveniently
forgetting
that
the
Reagan
administration
helped
solidify
the
regime
of
Saddam Hussein
and
provided
training
and
financial backing
to
the
Mujahideen
in
Afghanistan
who
later
became
the
Taliban
and
also
became
al
Qaeda
means
being
able
to
keep
a
straight
face
when
Rush
Limbaugh throws
around
the
word
"
draft
-dodger"
even
though
he
was
supposedly
kept
out
of
the
draft
by
an
"
anal
cyst" (
caused
by
an
ingrown
hair
)
means
believing
that
it's
justifiable
to
divert personnel
from
the
Department
of
Homeland
Security
during
an
Orange
Alert
to
track
down
the
whereabouts
of
Democratic legislators
who
have
skipped
the
state
of
Texas
to
prevent
a
potentially
illegal
redistricting
plan
means
never
asking
how
George
W
Bush
got
into
a
Texas
Air
National
Guard
unit
that
was
already
at
150%
capacity
during
Vietnam
and
was
never
prosecuted
for
being
AWOL
during
the
last
year
of
his
committment
means
never
questioning
how
Tom
DeLay
avoided
service
during
Vietnam
to
pursue "
other
interests
"
like
a
pest
control
business
means
thinking
actively enforced
government
regulation
is
only
good
when
it
targets
the
individual
but
never
when
it
applies
to
businesses
means
blaming
Kennedy
for
Vietnam
even
though
Eisenhower
committed
the
first
troops
means
believing
that
increasing
the
federal
deficit
to
record
highs
will
somehow
boost
a
stagnating
economy
means
believing
that
it
is
okay
to
ignore
the
Consitution
for
the
sake
of
profit
and
ideology
means
thinking
it's
okay
to
change
the
story
mid
-stream
from
saying
we
went
into
Iraq
because
the
had
WMD's
to
saying
we
went
in
because
they
had
"
programs
to
develop
WMD's"
means
saying
"
At
least
we
got
rid
of
Saddam Hussein"
when
good
sense
indicates
that
should
have
been
done
during
the
first
Gulf
War
means
forgetting
that
Bush
I
urged Shi'ite
Muslims
in
southern
Iraq
to
rise
up
against
Saddam
after
US
forces
withdrew
and
then
left
them
swinging
in
the
breeze
when
Saddam
squashed
their
uprising
and
then
did
nothing
in
the
face
of
his
reprisals
against
the
rebellion
in
the
south
means
not
giving
a
damn
if
millions
of
people
die
somewhere
if
that
country
doesn't
have
some
readily exploitable resource
to
pique
the
interest
of
the
White
House's
business
connections
030718
what's it to you?
who
go
blather
from