first_dates elimeny are weird. during the date, i didnt think i was nervous, not at all. i was feeling very confident and sexy and pretty and girly and all that jazz or whatever. i was everything i wanted to be... i was elimeny at her best i suppose. and he was great, it was fun... but when i dropped him off, and drove off, i felt this HUGE sigh of relief. not because he was gone really, but i suddenly relaxed. its like when i used to get on stage, and i would be okay while on stage, but immediately afterwards i would start bawling because of all the nervousness. i dont even know why i was so nervous, there really was no reason to be... but i guess i was, because my stomach still feels kinda funny, and i mean, its not because he swept me off my feet or anything like that, i hold no such illusions. the whole time i was talk talk talking because i was afraid of the silence, and when i was alone i was finally able to shut up. i think i prefer to be alone. no funny stomach issues, no knots, no issues. god, i HATE first dates. blah, i always just want to skip through all the getting to know one another bullshit, and get right down to the good shit. but i think thats how i always manage to fuck everything up. 030830 ... mon then almonds then dates a few raisins sunflower_seeds turkish_apricots 030831 ... Kristopher I've got more issues than a magazine subscription. Ha! 030903 ... jezabel the ones that hit the spark can be so intense, such an exciting dance when two minds meet on level ground, no history to bind and predetermine, no commitments beyond a token effort. it can be glorious freedom, or just boring. 030903 what's it to you? who go blather from