current_non_resolutionary_status re_alisma whether to think it further growth opportunities and investment strategies or to see it all as just another lesson in a long parade of lessons, i can't even tell. i do have a good guess that the lessons are rather light these days, but the stakes are too high to rule out that i'm not in trouble, and this time, bigger. then again, i could be exaggerating and blowing the proportions out, though i doubt anybody has the right judgment call, either. the Blind Men and the Elephant. so i think i shall abstain from judgment and conclusions, and even cut down on the experimental approach, in a really grand way. if there was ever a choice, it wasn't me that resolved to it. sure i could have made it, but it wasn't really required of me. so let me be cautious and non-rejectionary and not make choices, and let me be this way for as long as humanly possible, or i feel particularly needful, or there arises an opportunity that can't be missed. anyway, for god's sake, everything seems to be okay, and i even believe it will be okay, it's just that i'm going nuts thinking there's something that i should or should not be doing, when it's just the typical typical things that are always expected, and i've unfortunately got this drama/boredom oscillator life-story. 110223 ... unhinged fuck_you what makes you think I'll forgive you this time? 110223 ... unhinged just got even worse and might take longer than you think to correct itself (and maybe just maybe i'll be strong enough this time to pick the resolution that's best for me not_you) 110224 ... unhinged christian bale won best supporting actor for his crackhead role in the fighter and i wanted to call you but then i didn't i put down the phone and talked to myself instead cause we're on nonresolutionary status (fuck_you by_the_way) 110228 what's it to you? who go blather from