to_be_a_republican
Gasoline Means having your opinion fed to you by Ann Coulter and Bill O'Reilly

Means somehow thinking that if there is a God, for some reason he plays political favourites and that we are on the top of his A-list

Means thinking that Henry Hyde fathering a child outside of his existing marriage when he was already 42 was a "youthful indiscretion"

means thinking that the only celebrities who are entitled to political opinion are the ones who are registered Republicans

means thinking that somehow trading arms to hostile foreign powers is more easily pardonable than a knack for getting laid

means never questioning the link between the bin Laden family and the Carlyle group

means conveniently forgetting that the Reagan administration helped solidify the regime of Saddam Hussein and provided training and financial backing to the Mujahideen in Afghanistan who later became the Taliban and also became al Qaeda

means being able to keep a straight face when Rush Limbaugh throws around the word "draft-dodger" even though he was supposedly kept out of the draft by an "anal cyst" (caused by an ingrown hair)

means believing that it's justifiable to divert personnel from the Department of Homeland Security during an Orange Alert to track down the whereabouts of Democratic legislators who have skipped the state of Texas to prevent a potentially illegal redistricting plan

means never asking how George W Bush got into a Texas Air National Guard unit that was already at 150% capacity during Vietnam and was never prosecuted for being AWOL during the last year of his committment

means never questioning how Tom DeLay avoided service during Vietnam to pursue "other interests" like a pest control business

means thinking actively enforced government regulation is only good when it targets the individual but never when it applies to businesses

means blaming Kennedy for Vietnam even though Eisenhower committed the first troops

means believing that increasing the federal deficit to record highs will somehow boost a stagnating economy

means believing that it is okay to ignore the Consitution for the sake of profit and ideology

means thinking it's okay to change the story mid-stream from saying we went into Iraq because the had WMD's to saying we went in because they had "programs to develop WMD's"

means saying "At least we got rid of Saddam Hussein" when good sense indicates that should have been done during the first Gulf War

means forgetting that Bush I urged Shi'ite Muslims in southern Iraq to rise up against Saddam after US forces withdrew and then left them swinging in the breeze when Saddam squashed their uprising and then did nothing in the face of his reprisals against the rebellion in the south

means not giving a damn if millions of people die somewhere if that country doesn't have some readily exploitable resource to pique the interest of the White House's business connections
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