with_her stork daddy with others i had those happy moments, moments of ambling laughter when you count your fate one grain of sand at a time, and it tickles your fingers which you just noticed looked a bit like fat sausages. but i always felt a bit contrived, like more of a comedian or a palm reader. a smile was just a payday. it's not like that with her. i can't really say what it is like. i can only see something that clearly when i'm far enough to leave it. with others there were moments of silence which felt so forced. when i put on a face of peace like i feel a priest must at times though i felt crawling beneath my skin, right under my tongue. i wanted to scream out about death and some futilities and the false promise and impossible demand of ever really knowing another person or being one with them, but that would've been foolish. with her it's not like that. i could scream it at her, but i'm sure she'd scream it back at me. with her it's understood that everything we have is despite that, is a miracle unnoticed by most, a truth i can't from my experience extend past her and into the word love. 040114 ... Death of a Rose holy devine authority figure batman. you continually astound me. . 040114 ... ric and that should have read 'continue to astound me.' 040114 what's it to you? who go blather from