when_we_were_happy unhinged when_we_were_smiling making those recordings in the basement pouring our hearts into notes together no one told us in that present those would be the moments that lingered as 'past' at some unnameable future but we smiled and laughed anyways silent words said staring letting it slip through our fingers with barely a glance frightened tender back when i convinced myself that some way was better than you saying no to the way i really wanted back before i grabbed you told you kissed you we were happy we were ambiguous we still love each other we can look back fondly i watch you with her and still my mouth goes dry and i taste bitter chalk when i listen to that recording i can still see the smile on your face 'this is awesome' that smile i lived for just a photographic_memory 'past' at this present a future i don't think either of us could have possibly imagined back_then when we were happy 130707 ... unhinged last week i was talking to my father about how i usually dont stay friends with people i date exceptfor one person (that comes in and out of my life like a tsunami) and he thought it was you. i looked at him across the table 'oh no, not him. we technically never dated. he doesnt date people he works with' 'oh, someone with scruples. nice to see someone still has those' yeah, at the risk of me currently being miserable and lonely we_could_be_so_happy_baby if_we_wanted_to_be 130812 ... unhinged . 180630 what's it to you? who go blather from