pandora's_cave
lostgirl the stranger burst through the massive oak and stained glass door surrounded by a cloud of mist and snow, his darkened silhouette backlit by the dampened light of street lamps at dusk. it was impossible to miss the commotion, as on an evening like this, only the most dedicated of 'regulars' had bared the elements in order to venture into this peaceful haven.

pandora's wine cave, ironically located on the corner of vineyard boulevard and garnet avenue was, in lane's estimation, the best kept secret in the city. even when the weather forecast had warned of a dangerous snow and ice accumulation, nearly every seat at the shining mahogany bar was occupied. jazzy notes sprinkled among the lively conversation and gently competed with the nearly muted television behind the bar as the bundled up, snow-covered newcomer ignored the inquisitive eyes of the patrons and stomped the slush from his  'inappropriate-for-conditions' dress shoes. he noisily moved past the bar, dragging his overstuffed brief case behind him like a loyal puppy. as soon as he slid into the smooth leather seat at the isolated booth in the rear of the room, he shrugged off his coat, retrieved his i-phone from his pocket, and began to intently finger the screen with obvious purpose. 

lane was alone, as usual. her eyes flickered from the stranger back to the television when the orange band appeared across the bottom of the screen and caught her attention. the weather channel was once again announcing the dangerous wintry conditions with a severe weather alert. she exhaled with an audible breathy sigh and a shake of the head just as dex walked over to top off her chardonnay. lane noticed her jaw clenching and the knot in her churning stomach, and as she absently clacked her french manicured nails against the smooth wood, she wondered for the thousandth time why she continued to mentally beat herself up inside. 'i need to let this go.' she thought to herself. 'i need to let him go.'

"its not really that big of a secret, is it?" dex quipped in her direction with his characteristic crooked smile.

as he expertly poured the amber liquid of her beloved patz and hall into her quarter-filled glass,
lane stared at him as if he had grown horns from his blonde streaked locks. 'he couldn't possibly know i am struggling....could he?' she wondered, her surprised eyes widening in an expression that somehow resembled guilt. 

dex was more than just a bartender. he knew her well, perhaps too well. he had become an unlikely confidant in the past year and a half since lane had begun frequenting the_cave. his boyish good looks combined with his knack for conversation and his knowledge of fine wine (and heavy pours) almost guaranteed him a fine living from tips, however it was his uncanny awareness of people's emotions was something next to otherworldly. it was his way of drawing people out and making them feel at home that kept them coming back for more.

lane trusted him completely, but for some unknown reason, she never considered that she knew very little about him.

"everyone has secrets...." lane shot back, her uncalculated and unedited response provoking dex to lift an expectant left eyebrow. 

"i meant that its no secret that people should stay off the roads because of the weather, lane," he said gently, reaching across the bar to smooth an invisible wrinkle on her sleeve. "hey...are you okay?" he asked.     

         		110201
...
unhinged 'i'm fine,' lane nervously flicked a stray hair behind her ear.

'ok,' dex's skeptical tone lingered in the air as he walked down to the opposite end of the bar to help a customer lane saw in the bar all the time but didn't really know.

she wiped at the wrinkles in her shirt and some words entered her mind. lane reached into her purse that was slung over the back of the chair without looking and pulled out a pen and a small notebook.

lane scribbled furiously in her notebook for a few minutes, looking up to the ceiling like she was pulling at her shirt when a strange feeling made her look away from what she was doing. the stranger in the booth was staring at her.

'do you know that guy?"

lane looked towards dex and smirked 'no.'

'do you want some dessert?'

'only if you have the pot-du-creme.'

'let me go check' 		110201
...
lostgirl julia’s phone beeped its signature alert, notifying anyone within earshot that a text message had landed. purposefully ignoring the intrusion, she quietly sipped her pinot and didn’t bother to hide the unsolicited small smile that popped out as she absorbed the image of dex’s impressive backside disappearing through the doorway that led to the kitchen.

‘he is so goddamn hot,’ she thought to herself, shaking her head and letting a small girlish giggle that no one heard escape from her smiling lips.

'i'm too old for this.' she thought.

julia sighed, absently dropping into a reverie filled with memories that repeated itself like a favorite song stuck on replay. she had been frequenting pandora’s for the past eight months, having discovered the hidden jewel accidentally that fateful day last summer when she had stormed out of the house in a fit of rage following a battle of epic proportions with james. who would have thought that this hidden treasure would save her sanity? julia’s marriage had survived the events of the past year, however she was still finding reason after reason to doubt the choices she had made. at least she could be herself here at the cave. she could speak freely inside these cozy, dimly lit confines.

it was the place she could go; had come to depend upon to ‘be herself.’ it would always be a place where she was certain her secrets were safe.

julia glanced up at the TV and read the special weather bulletin that seemed to be warning her personally to get moving towards home.

a moment later, dex appeared in the doorway carrying an impressive dessert. she couldn’t stop looking at him if she'd tried. he glanced at julia and tossed her what looked like a ‘knowing’ smile as he made his way to the opposite end of the bar.

‘why does that smile turn my stomach to jello?’ she thought as she picked up her blackberry to read the text.

the message was from james of course: ‘i’m worried jules—are you ok?’

instead of typing a reply, she simply dropped the phone into her purse, shrugged into her coat and simultaneously draining the remaining pinot, she stood up to leave.

dex was still delivering dessert at the opposite end of the bar but he did not miss the back of her brunette curls as the bell on the door announced her exit. 		110204
...
unhinged 'who was that that just left?' lane inquired as dex set her pot-du-creme on the bar in front of her. her tongue impulsively swiped her lips just at the sight of it. she picked up her spoon and dug out a small piece of the french chocolate custard, slowly savoring the creaminess.

'her name is julia.'

'she was staring at your ass.'

'like you haven't.' dex kept his eyes on the glass he was pouring. one of the older male professional types at the bar raised an eyebrow at the banter. 'here you go mike. a spanish temparnillo. it will go well with the cheese plate you ordered.'

'thank you dex.'

dex swept his eyes across the bar, scanning for empty glasses, plates. when he realized everything was taken care of for the moment, he sidled back to lane's end of the bar. 'jealous?'

he noticed her curt smile appear 'no.'

'liar.'

'any cougar has the right to admire your ass. did she leave you a good tip?'

'ouch lane. you ARE touchy tonight. is the chocolate helping?'

a more genuine smile found it's way to her lips 'it always does.'

a weather alert started to blare over the speakers. everyone winced and a hush fell over the cave. 		110204
...
lostgirl lane sighed audibly in the direction of the television. 'i just read somewhere that he weather channel gets better ratings with apocalyptic forecasts, but they are freaking shoving this storm down our throats.'

'what's eating you tonight lanie?' dex looked her in the eye as if he was reaching into her soul to pluck out the answer with some kind of cosmic capability.

'what's it matter, dex?'

'you look happy and sad at the same time and i was just wondering why. that's it....no big deal. never mind....just eat your dessert.'

he turned his back and missed lane roll her eyes before playfully sticking her tongue out at him.

dex cleared a glass and wiped an invisible mark from the polished wood then walked further down the bar to collect the cash julia had left on the bar in front of her still-vacant bar stool.
julia had issues. she was a complex woman for sure, but she was a good person with a good heart. 'and she's extremely generous,' he thought as he pocketed the twenty dollar tip with a grin.     
  		110205
...
unhinged lane realized she was unleashing her stress on the wrong person entirely and decided to leave as soon as her dessert was finished. she thought maybe going out would lift her mood. instead, she just seemed to be dampening the spirits of everyone around her.

then the radio blared another weather alert. 'the winter storm watch has been upgraded to a warning. please stay off roads if at all possible.'

in a comical way, every customer at the bar looked at their glass, and then some decided to get up to leave while others tried to flash dex down for another glass.

lane saw her getaway opportunity. she quickly climbed into her coat and other winter apparel and flung her bag over her shoulder.

dex looked up from the glass he was pouring 'where are you headed?'

'home.'

'alright. be careful.'



turned out lane had picked the best time to leave. some flakes were falling, but the wind hadn't started howling and she got home with minimal trouble. she turned the key in the lock and started randomly stripping off parts of her bundled self.

she took her hat off and shook her mane of hair down her back. a big sigh escaped almost before she realized her frustration.

another lonely winter storm. beautiful. 		110208
...
lostgirl as julia trudged through the freshly fallen flakes, she felt an unwelcome wet chill sneaking through her woolen woven uggs, but for some unexpected reason she couldn't bring herself to be annoyed. these were those big, fluffy flakes falling at the rate of over two inches per hour, and though she knew the roads would be treacherous, the inconvenience would be short lived, and would definitely pale in comparison to what the slopes would be like for the weekend ahead of her.

she could almost feel the wind on her face, the spray of snow on her goggles, the speed of her descent.

she smiled huge.

julia's exasperated sigh suddenly signaled the annoyance that the weather couldn't provide when her blackberry alerted her yet again that james was still looking for her.

'jules...stay where you are....i'll come get you.'

"as if i would tell you...." she grumbled into her mittened hand as she pulled it off with her teeth to free her fingers to text a response.

she punched the keys furiously and methodically and completed her message as usual in under 160 characters:

'i am in the car already on my way back from the mall. don't worry, the roads are okay so far. see you soon.'

"three lies in less than thirty seconds," julia said into the darkness and swirling white of the winter storm as she continued her short trek to the tiny parking lot in the alley behind the cave.

the young attendant waved as she approached the tiny hut that was his shield from the elements, and she fumbled in her pocket for a five while he procured her keys from a rack above the lock box. when he opened up the door to greet her, loud music spilled out with him into the darkness.

'hi julia'

'hey charles....how's it going?'

'got the new arcade fire album....its good stuff.' she could smell the acrid smoke on his breath and wondered if her own breath smelled like pinot noir.

'nice. i'll check it out. have a good night.....be careful charles.'

'you too ma'am.'

julia slid into her lexus suv and shivered while the wipers removed the powder from the windshield. she shrugged out of her coat and plugged in her i-pod, automatically setting it on shuffle to see what random song would fill the insulated interior of her vehicle.
she was rewarded with mgmt's 'its working.'

julia put the gearshift in the drive position and pulled onto the snow covered side street with ease. her kids claimed that her car was "boss" in the snow with the addition of winter tires, and they were right.

she headed in the direction of home, quickly calculating that the timing would fit perfectly with the little fib she had told james. she could never tell him about the cave. she couldn't tell james a lot of things. 		110209
...
unhinged pandora's_cave_ii 110211
what's it to you?
who go 		blather
from