issues DammitJanet He got upset once and cried because i never asked him to take his shirt off. But see, i read body language. (which is something he knows nothing about) I tried to lift his shirt up once, but he yanked it back down so hard i thought he'd rip the neck. I assured him i would have asked, i always wondered why he never took it off, but i felt he was uncomfortable and would take it off in his own time. I, unlike him, would never pressure him to do something he didn't want to do. According to him, I didn't kiss him enough either. But we were always kissing, this is what i was trying to explain to him. He got mad at me when i said i would kiss him first, but i never got a chance to. He'd kiss me when i'd turn around, when i'd look at him, when i'd get off the couch, when i sat down, when i'd get out of the washroom, it was constant! Constant to the point where i felt i couldn't breathe. When was i supposed to initiate a kiss? While he was brushing his teeth or eating chips? He cried about how i never demanded to have a picture of him. I guess me saying "i want to see more pictures of you, i want one" wasn't enough. But really i never felt like i needed one. I saw him so much, i was in his room more than my own. If someone wanted to know what he looked like, i'd say check out his website. He was so insecure about my parents liking him he mentioned them constantly. It always started with "your mother hates me" and ended with "well i don't want them to think i'm selfish by making you pick me up from the go station" or "i don't want them to think i'm inconciderate by not bringing anything over for dinner". My parents did like him and he thought up such extravagant things that they'd never even give a thought to. It annoyed me to no end. I'm not good with insecure people. I don't feel the need to tell people repeatedly that people like them. Or that i'm not going to run off with an old boyfriend. It offended me really, because he couldn't be secure with me, even after so much time. He also cried because i didn't say "i love you" first or "i'm glad i'm here" first. Again, it's like the kissing episode. He told me he loved me so much i found myself rolling my eyes every time he did it. Maybe i should be thankful that i heard it 20+ times a day, but it just got annoying. It's the repeating thing again that got to me. He was upset that i wasn't more affectionate. And by affectionate he meant initiate giving him a blow job. Well if he didnt demand them 5+ times a day, maybe i would. But i was so mad and angry and just plain felt like a whore to him. I didn't want to be affectionate at all anymore. He pushed me so hard i fell over backwards and didn't want to get back up. We'd be at a store and i'd see something i like, and after setting it back down because i couldn't afford it, he'd whisper "y'know, i could buy that for you and you could repay me by giving me a blowjob when we get home" or we'd be at the science centre and he'd say "y'know, i've been a very good boy today bringing you here, i think that deserves a blow job when we get home" or we'd be at my house and he'd say "y'know, i didn't travel 40 minutes on public transportation to just sit here and watch tv with you, maybe you could give me a blow job" or i'd travel 40 minutes to see him and he'd say "i can't wait until we get back to my appartment so you can give me a blowjob because i've been waiting for it for days!". The more he bugged me the less he got, until he was saying things like "see? on jerry springer she loves her boyfriend enough to give him a blowjob!" and "y'know in highschool when a girl and guy were dating and not having sex yet, the girl would give him a blow job. it's a natural thing to do" and he actually had the gall to say "i was thinking, y'know how you don't really enjoy giving blowjobs? maybe you need councelling" Maybe i didn't like giving blowjobs because i was being made to feel like a whore. Maybe it was because i was being bugged to do it in the middle of the day when he's been sweating in his pants for hours on end and i just wasn't in the mood for ball sweat on my face. Maybe it was because every time i was down there he'd try to get me to lick his ass. Maybe it was because it made me puke. It was funny how much he'd say " i'm sorry baby, i'm sorry!" and how much he'd say "i'd never make you do anything you don't want to do or not comfortable with!" but then would say "well when i'm horny i don't think, so i just naturally try to make you do the things i want you to, whether you like them or not". It was also a knee slapper when he said (while in bed) "we never do anything *I* want to do". Well if we never did anything *I* wanted to do, then *obviously* we were doing everything *he* wanted to do. I never demanded anything from him. Oh gee, once in a while his hand got a little cramped. Boo fucking hoo. That's a hell of alot better than puking up on your own shirt after your boyfriend was finished shoving his cock down your throat. Why did i put up with any of it, that's what i'd like to know. And to think he blamed all his problems on me. He pushed too hard for blow jobs because he was insecure with me and needed reassurance that i liked him. Ya sure buddy, that's why. He even admitted to doing everything and buying all the things he did to make me happy, and for me to repay him by giving him blowjobs. And maybe licking his diry ass in the process. Another thing he never gave up on. He actually got mad at me one day when i said i would do it, but just before i said i would, he asked me to say i would just so he could hear it. So i said fine, i'd do it. Then he was all excited and was getting ready, and i'm lying there going, what are you doing? And he answers with "well you just said you were going to lick my ass!" to which i replied "ya because you just asked me to say it even thought it wasn't true". Honestly, what is his problem? Maybe his piles and piles and piles of hair and skin products has made him chemically imbalanced. He has no clue how much damage he caused, but then just blamed it all on the person he hurt in the first place. So i brought this all on myself did i? I don't fucking think so. I was just an idiot to hang around so long. Screw you asshole. I can't wait until you realize you're making the same mistakes with all of them too. You're a big bag full of issues trying to dump them on everyone else. 040225 what's it to you? who go blather from