i_dont_understand Sparticus i dont lost? you say one thing. then you say another. and i get lost and dont understand do you want me? do you want us? do you love me? do you love us? how can i be losing you when i just found myself? when everything finally becomes so right, how can we go wrong? i dream of you at night, when everything is quiet and we are happy i see you everywhere, and i dont mind in one of your poems you said you were deep inside yourself, no one else. what happened to me so many questions i cannot ask because you are not ready. you say i hurt you. you say i want to control you and save you and have you depend on me, and that you want to be hurt, controlled, saved, and dependent please god no. never. where is this nightmare from? how? is it true? do those words have truth all i want is to love you and be with you, and have you feel the same way in return. no strings attached. happy together under god, through christ, in the proper place and order the only thing i ever prayed for was for you not to need me so much. i never meant not at all. because i still need you is it ok to need people when you walk with christ? i say yes how could what is right be so wrong? especially on the eve of becoming the way it should have been, when i finally found myself and the love i fought for so long? how how how? are we wrong? no so many questions that i cannot ask. i must wait and let her be selfish she isnt ready. i just pray that when she is, she hasnt forgotten me and what we have 030823 what's it to you? who go blather from