rape Sonya http://www.dianarussell.com/menrape.html The info in that link is somewhat old, but it is disturbing to know what some men my age would do if they thought they could get away with it without being found out or punished under the law. It is even more disturbing to know that some high school guys feel more strongly in that direction. They are still kids.... It is not fair that many women are afraid to go out somewhere at night unaccompanied or alone. Even a basic trip to a gas station or a 24 hour supermarket at night or just walking to your car in a dark parking lot can be scary. For males, it might not be as scary. I know many guys who have no problems being in the above areas at late night hours by themselves. For women, why is it so drastically different? "She shouldn't need protection." -Boy Sets Fire 030920 ... jinx Why is it that I still feel safe... 030920 ... jinx Don't get me wrong-I think rape is as awful as the next woman thinks it is, but this article is worse... We recently discussed in my philosophy class the idea of justice. We spent an entire class period talking about what we would do *IF WE COULD GET AWAY WITH IT* How many people can honestly say that they've never *thought* about about harming someone when they were angry-even in the smallest way... We're human. We get angry-we have urges-some people are better at controlling them. There are a lot of things people (not just men) would do if they could get away with them. People don't, though, because they know they could have consequences. Another note-about the walking alone at night. Walk assertively-like you have a purpose-you are going somewhere. If you walk around-looking nervous-looking scared-you look weak... Don't let them have so much control over you. 030920 ... guitar_freak 24 hour lockdown at my school because there is a guy who has raped three girls and hasn't been caught. They don't even have a discription of this bastard because the girls couldn't see him. so... hell yeah i'm scared to walk alone at night. I don't do it anymore. Look out for your friends. Sometimes being paranoid can save you a lot of pain 030920 ... mon uow i use to carry a knife in vancouver 050324 ... mon uow "Every two and a half minutes, somewhere in America, someone is sexually assaulted." "...In 2003, there were 198,850 victims of rape, attempted rape or sexual assault...Of these approximately 199,000 victims, about 81,000 were victims of completed rape, 61,060 were victims of attempted rape, and 80,910 were victims of sexual assault...Because of the methodology of the National Crime Victimization Survey, these figures do not include victims 12 or younger. While there are no reliable annual surveys of sexual assaults on children, the Justice Department has estimated that one of six victims are under age 12..." "...One out of every six American women have been the victims of an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime (14.8% completed rape; 2.8% attempted rape)...A total of 17.7 million women have been victims of these crimes...In 2003, nine out of every ten rape victims were female..." "...15% of victims are under age 12 29% are age 12-17 44% are under age 18 80% are under age 30..." "...About three percent of American men —- a total of 2.78 million men—have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime... In 2003, one in every ten rape victims were male..." "... About 44% of rape victims are under age 18. Three out of every twenty victims (15%) are under age 12...Seven percent of girls in grades five to eight and twelve percent of girls in grades nine through twelve and said they had been sexually abused...Three percent of boys in grades five through eight and five percent of boys in grades nine through twelve said they had been sexually abused...93% of juvenile sexual assault victims knew their attacker; 34.2% were family members and 58.7% acquaintances. Only seven percent of the perpetrators were strangers to the victim...In 1995, local child protective service agencies identified 126,000 children who were victims of either substantiated or indicated sexual abuse; of these, 75% were girls. Nearly 30% of child victims were between the ages of 4 and 7...Age 12-34 are the highest risk years. Risk peaks in the late teens: girls 16 to 19 are four times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape or sexual assault..." "...In 2003, only 39% of rapes and sexual assaults were reported to law enforcement officials — about one in every three...Of sexually abused children in grades five through twelve, 48% of the boys and 29% of the girls had told no one about the abuse—not even a friend or sibling..." "...Approximately 70% of female rape victims and 74% of male rape victims know their assailant...Approximately 50% of female victims and 44% of male victims are raped by a friend or acquaintance; 30% of female victims and 26% of male victims by a stranger; 12% of female victims and 30% of male victims by an intimate; 8% of female victims and less than 1% of male victims by another relative; but in less than 1% of cases the relationship is unknown..." "...# About four out of ten sexual assaults take place at the victim’s own home. Two in ten take place in the home of a friend, neighbor or relative. One in ten take place outside, away from home. And about one in 12 take place in a parking garage. # More than half of all rape/sexual assault incidents were reported by victims to have occurred within one mile of their home or at their home. # 43% of rapes occur between 6 pm and midnight. 24% occur between midnight and 6am. The other 33% take place between 6am and 6pm..." http://www.rainn.org 050324 ... mon uow "...1. Four out of five female undergraduates surveyed at Canadian universities said that they had been victims of violence in a dating relationship. Of that number, 29% reported incidents of sexual assault... 2. A survey on date rape showed that 60% of Canadian college-aged males indicated that they would commit sexual assault if they were certain they would not get caught... 3. According to Statistics Canada, only 6% of all sexual assaults are reported to the police... 4. Only 1% of all date rapes are reported to police... 5. Consistently acquaintance sexual assault is found to be the most underreported crime in Canada... 6. The majority of date and acquaintance rape victims are young women aged 16 to 24... 7. A 1993 survey found that one-half of all Canadian women have experienced at least one incident of sexual or physical violence. Almost 60% of these women were the targets of more than one violent incidents... 8. Statistics show one in four Canadian women will be sexually assaulted during her lifetime...In BC, sexual assault is twice the national average: Almost 1 out of 2 women in British Columbia have been sexually assaulted (47%)... 9. Most women who are sexually assaulted know their attackers. In fact approximately 80% are assaulted by men known to them in some capacity... 10. Research indicates that a shocking number of young men and women believe that it is okay to coerce a woman to have sex. In a Toronto study, 31% of males and 22% of females said yes when asked, "If a girl engages in necking or petting and she lets things get out of hand, is it her own fault if her partner forces sex on her?"... 11. A study of 304 Toronto secondary school students found that one-fifth of the young women had experienced at least one form of assault in a dating relationship... 12. Statistics Canada indicates that women are physically injured in 11% of sexual assaults... 13. The effects of sexual assault on a woman's mental health and well-being can be just as serious as physical injuries. 9 out of 10 incidents of violence against women have an emotional effect on the victim. The most commonly reported effects are anger, fear and becoming more cautious and less trusting... 14. Assaults on women with disabilities can trigger severe physical reactions. A woman with epilepsy may have a seizure, a woman with cerebral palsy may develop even more unclear speech, or a woman with diabetes may go into insulin shock... 15. In one study, women gave the following reasons for not reporting incidents of sexual assault: # belief that the police could do nothing about it (50%) # concern about the attitude of both police and the courts towards sexual assault (44%) # fear of another assault by the offender (33%) # fear and shame (64%) # Women who have been sexually assaulted often fear that if they report a sexual assault they will be revictimized by the justice system... 16. More than 80% of rapes that occur on university and college campuses are committed by someone the victim knows, and 50% occur on dates. Many of these assaults happen during the first eight weeks of classes... 17. 15% to 30% of university women report experiencing acquaintance rape... 18. Studies conducted in 1995 at the University of Victoria estimate that between 1 in 6 and 1 in 4 women have experienced sexual assault during their university career... 19. False accusations of rape happen no more often than false reports of other types of crime: about 2 to 4%, which means that 96 to 98% of reports are true... 20. Almost 1 out of 2 women in British Columbia have been sexually assaulted(47%)..." http://www.wavaw.ca/ 050324 ... unhinged he didn't listen when i said no, so i don't bother to say no anymore 050324 ... Sonya I'll say it again... SHE SHOULDN'T NEED PROTECTION! The fact that 60% of college aged males would commit rape if they wouldn't be punished is disturbing. There is no regard for the physical, emotional, and psychological trauma that ensues after this kind of attack. I'll stick to my paranoia, thank you. 050606 ... Lemon_Soda Hey, guys(as in males),uh...maybe people *like* having sex and all, but you could just wait till your married...then you'd know they wanted to and if they didn't they would be close enough to tell you and you'd stop. The penis is designed to warp your thinking...DON'T TRUST IT! 050606 ... Lemon_Soda The urges are not wrong...its the implementation thats fucking(no pun intended) everyone up. 050606 ... skyburst777 "Myth: Rape is just sex when a woman does not want it. Fact: Sexual assault and rape are not just sex. They involve the total humiliation of a woman. They involve taking control of her body against her will. They involve taking all dignity and self assurance away from a woman, and reducing her to an object of sexual abuse. It is violence when someone forces a woman to engage in sexual acts against her will. It is humiliation. It is degradation. During interviewing rapists say that rape is more about power and violence than about sex" "Many rapists appear perfectly normal. They often have steady jobs and consensual relationships with wives and girlfriends. Many people believe that men who sexually assault women are loners, incapable of forming relationships or leading normal lives. The popular image of a rapist is of someone who spends all his time lurking in bushes ready to pounce on lone women. The police interviewed Peter Sutcliffe nine times before they discovered that he was the Yorkshire Ripper. He didn't fit their image of a mass rapist and murderer because he was married, had a steady job and a nice home. This is how it is with many attackers." http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/rapemyths.htm "8. How can a man be raped? The sexual assault statute in Illinois is gender neutral--so legally a man can be raped. In addition, penetration includes insertion, however slight, of the penis, fingers, or other objects in the vagina, anus, mouth. In this sense it is clear that a man can be raped anally or orally by either another man or a woman. When women rape men, it is typically an adult woman raping a male child; however, there are instances where adult women do rape adult men as well. It is important to remember that since men generally do not report when they are a survivor of rape, little is actually known about the prevalence of male victimization. It is estimated that around 5% of rape survivors are men. Therefore, the majority of male survivors were raped by men. 9. Isn't it true that men who rape other men are gay? Not necessarily. Since rape is about power and not about sex, men who identify as heterosexual are often the perpetrators of sexual assault against other men. In fact, they may see it as a way of gay bashing. It's true that a gay man can rape another man--but this does not seem to be the majority of cases." https://netfiles.uiuc.edu/ro/www/MenAgainstSexualViolence/faq.htm 050606 ... skyburst777 "Myth - Rape is a crime of sexual needs or uncontrollable urges. Fact - Men can, and do, control their sexual urges. Rape is a crime of violence, control, degradation and intimidation - it is not about sex but about power. The vast majority of rapes are carefully planned." http://www.crcl.org.uk/myths.html 050606 ... darksprite rape me free me fuck is not a funny word what if he fucked you like that rape fuck is not fuckin funny 081016 ... Risen It's easy for a man to rape your body. I found that out at six years old. Then again at 17. It's painful and it's disgusting. But it's nothing compared to the violation and devestation of a woman raping your soul. 140309 ... e_o_i I'd hesitate about using this as a metaphor. But then, I'm a horrible person; it makes me laugh to think of the new French-English workshop participant, an innocent-looking girl of 18-20 who said, enthusiastically, "J'aime faire le viol" when she meant "J'aime faire la voile." If everyone who ever raped somebody had gone sailing instead, the world would be a much better place. With more sailing. But, to get real. One fellow worker at the first summer camp I worked at said that she could forgive her (now-dead) relative who'd molested her, but not the friend who'd made fun of her about it. I was trying to wrap my head around that. She would never forgive the friend, she said. I said something like, Isn't it bad to never forgive someone? I was eighteen. And I went around wondering why she'd told ME, why she had to depress ME. And then another, not someone I talked to as much. Her ex-boyfriend. Experiential data is not statistics, but let me crunch easy numbers - of people I've met, age at which they'd been sexually assaulted, as they reported - and see what I spit out as the average: I have 17 and 10, that makes 13.5. Which is the age I started bleeding from my vagina for the normal reason. Which frightens me. But it doesn't have to be Y gender against X gender, older against younger, for it to hurt deeply. And it is not really titillating, not really unique, just another tiresome expression of violence and oppression in a too-long list. And if every rapist suffered the panic attacks I did the year after I hit my former friend in the face (see dear_jane_austen for a sort of confessional) then the world WOULD be a better place. You deserve poetically just internal torture more than I do, and that's saying a lot. And people who've been attacked deserve no extra torture, external or internal, for it. Why is the world set up so unfairly? (As if I am the first person to ask...) 140309 ... Risen I completely get your point about using it as a metaphor. It is inappropriate. I could make an argument for it being ok, along the lines of black people using the "N word" or gay people saying queer... but it would fail. If you can't joke about it, shouldn't be used as a metaphor either. 140310 ... e_o_i Thanks for taking that well. I was in a bad mood and afterwards I was afraid I'd snapped at you. Your feelings are valid and I can't tell anybody what to feel. I admit I've never been through a breakup where I felt totally betrayed. Last time it was more the fact that we'd be living in different places. So yeah, and it wasn't really your words I was thinking of; it's not that there's some things that can't be compared, but some people misuse their freedom to do so. Saying, "Oh, Level 5 totally raped me," is not only insensitive but kind of silly. I'll make fun of stuff rather freely, as you might see, but think I'm better at NOT totally disregarding people's comfort levels as I was when I was younger. 140310 ... brother cu http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/under-the-volcano-0000251-v21n3 140311 what's it to you? who go blather from