girlfriends no reason sometimes i go to group outings here created by people i don't know, because i don't know many people here. there's a group for women in their 20s and 30s, and i hardly ever find that group works for me, whenever i attend one of their events. i mean, it's never hostile or anything, but i've hardly ever met people i really click with. they're always super chatty and want to dress up and go dancing and such, while i'm usually more of a listener than a talker (though it definitely depends on the topic), and get bored after too much talk about dates and the opposite sex, and am pretty happy with a beer, a book, and a patio. it's odd to me. is it unusual to be a low-key female? 140825 ... flowerock I think there are a variety of females out there... I relate to your experience nd feelings on this though. I am fortunate to know some chill, down to earth, real ladies out here but here is in this whole state... nit near wnough to hang out. if you were near, I'd chill on a patio with you and some books : ) why not? I guess it can be fun to get girly every once in a while, but most of time even my "girlyness" is not girly enough for thise girly_girls 140825 ... unhinged considering ive been dumped too many times for being 'nice', im assuming the chatty bitchy girls that care about nothing but how they dress mostly are the ones getting the men. too many men i have known and/or dated have complained about how women are manipulative. dating thats why i give up 140825 ... nr i don't mind being 'girly' sometimes, but i do need some more substance in the mix. i'm lucky to know some more chill and down-to-earth women too (including my best friend, who i love like a sister), but it seems hard to meet them in certain situations. maybe women who would get together in a group to meet other women is not the place for this. but it's odd to me, just in an odds/numbers game sense. 140825 ... nr and a blatherpeople patio chill sounds like fun :) 140826 ... epitome of incomprehensibility Interesting thoughts. For some reason I don't call friends this. I guess to me the term denotes a romantic relationship (like "boyfriend") though if you look at the word itself there's no reason why girl + friend shouldn't mean a friend who is a girl. Anyway. Flowerock, your "girly-girl" comment made me laugh... I guess the girly-girl attributes are kinda superficial, too. I don't mean that women who are feminine are superficial - I know some smart and nice "girly-girls" - I mean what makes a person supposedly feminine is superficial. For example, I -have too many shoes (+) -have a sweet tooth (+) -like clothes (+) -don't bother much with make-up (-) -don't spend gobs of money shopping (-) -in terms of handiwork, have artisan rather than mechanical skills (+) -like sci-fi... (-) -...more than romance as a genre (-) -like math (I didn't used to) (-) -like writing (+-?) So it's about even, and if you look at the list it's telling how many of these things are superficial and/or don't have anything to do with being male or female. 140826 ... e_o_i (specific comment I found amusing/relatable: "I guess it can be fun to get girly every once in a while, but most of time even my "girlyness" is not girly enough for thise girly_girls") 140826 ... tender_square “i have always felt like he’s controlled you,” her friend explained. “i knew he wasn’t being physically or verbally abusive. i just didn’t say anything because i love you and i thought that’s what you wanted.” “i appreciate you saying it to me now,” she said. “because i’m seeing things with new eyes.” she wondered if this was what her therapist meant about being self-aware while simultaneously blocking out what she didn’t wish to know. his control issues had always been in the periphery, yet she denied it when people in her life made their observations about it. she made excuses for him because she believed them herself. “i know you need time, and that this will be a long process” her friend went on. “i’m here for you whenever you need me.” their other friend chimed in. “i’m here, too. if ever you need a place to stay, if ever you need a place to work, if ever you need my car, whatever i have is yours.” she cried. “if this heads where i think it does,” she started, “it’ll mean that i’m moving back home. and i don’t want to do that because you two are the closest friends i have; i don’t want to lose you.” “you won’t,” the one friend assured. “i live across the country from you two and have for seven years now. look at how close we still are.” 211218 what's it to you? who go blather from