breakup nr it's not one but the pit in the stomach feels similar. it's a breakup of thoughts and expectations and fantasy. 221230 ... nr (how was this not a linked word yet?) 221230 ... epitome of incomprehensibility Maybe because the verb form is two words? Testing: break_up. 221231 ... e_o_i Nope (and I could have checked the slow way, but ah well). 221231 ... Soma When you make room to speak about what exists, you no longer have to spend time wondering about everything left unsaid. I'm glad I said it. I was tired of feeling it. I know you were too. 230308 ... epitome of incomprehensibility It was almost five years and today it's over. At least for now. I was the one who had to say it, or anyway, who said it. He was the one who broached the topic, the doubt about things working out, two weeks ago; I said we should maybe have some time to think. When I talked to him today, he said he felt the same things. Plus, he said, there was a mismatch in me being sure of staying "together forever" and him not being so sure. A side note: I'm not sure I trust the idea that real and raw emotions lead to original language. Upset people might grab at the first words available and come up with a cliché. That's fine. Emotion can definitely inspire creative expression, but it doesn't mean emotional people are necessarily going to be eloquent on their first try. We were both crying. The war in my head: me thinking at him "No, please don't cry" but also "Yes, BE sad, you started this." What hurts is...well, a lot of things. Partly that this was so unexpected. That I thought things were going well. That I feel like a failure. That I'll never have the same exact connection with another person, even if I can have different ones. After the Whereby call, I didn't know how to feel. I ate some chocolate that wasn't supposed to be mine. I added a note to a dream I had about toilets. I wasn't the throwing-things kind of angry - I haven't been for some time - so it was by mistake that I dropped two containers containing seeds. Thankfully the lids didn't come off. 241005 what's it to you? who go blather from