hate_valentines_day nyemalenkayadusha sometimes i miss you and i have no idea why because i dont even like you but when you arent being pitiful, i miss you and sometimes i miss him and i do not know why because i hate him so much, though i try not to let it show. but when he isnt around, sometimes its easy to forget. and sometimes, oh God, im so sorry for what ive done... i was so young, God please forgive me... people ask me whats the most horrible thing ive ever done, and i cant talk about it like its some sort of conquest... im a horrible person, im everything i ever hated, i cant cant cant forget what i did, and who i really am... and other people can just see past it, like its no big deal. and everyone only sees one side, and they say that they want me, but who the hell are you? you do not know me. and maybe thats the problem. i think i miss you. not for you. but for the whole aspect of having someone who knew me, and still loved me. where there was no fear.. do you remember that time? when we were comfortable in our lives, in one another, when there was no anger yet, no vices, no hurt. there was just love, just this comfort with one another. waking up beside you, after not having seen you for months... and falling asleep in your arms, and loving every single little bit of your body and i just want to hate you... but i guess sometimes i just miss you. or maybe just that feeling. will i never have that again? maybe thats why im scared. 030126 ... no reason it's much better to celebrate ferris_wheel_day 030126 what's it to you? who go blather from