tonight_i_write Doar For the dogged tiredness I am feeling right now. i write to be here in a state which the machu picchu looks upon you. and tonight i write to homes to light to guitars thrumming us to sound to deafness in us and returned in you here listen 141116 ... unhinged (neruda tonight i can write the saddest lines...) 141117 ... rhin dear husband, tonight i write. i write for you because of you. sometimes i just feel overwhelmed with emotion at the mere thought of you. i never want my feelings for you to diminish or change event the slightest. love. always. 141122 ... Risen This made me think of Neruda too. I am most of the way through that process. The reassembling of self. The new me, the resolution (in both senses) of self. I am becoming a me who can love someone new. BUt that doesn't stop me from still loving her. Sometimes it is so very strong. Sometimes it is overwhelming. Sometimes I cannot even remember why I loved her. Some nights are harder than others. "Tonight I can write the saddest lines. I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too" "Love is so short, forgetting_is_so_long." 141123 ... shpaaaaaaaaaaaa shpaaaaaaaaaaaa 141205 ... rhin i haven't really spoken to you before, but i just want to say thank you. thank you for cradling him in your hands and for knowing. thank you for gently returning him. i am so deeply in love with him and you knew that i needed him here. will i ever be able to fully express and show him how much i love him? does he know how excited i am to be moving to be with him. my every thought and daydream is about doing just that. i have been so consumed by it - so consumed in my own mind that maybe i forget to reassure him of that. ...and maybe i forgot to listen. i am so sorry. ps. oh and i am really sorry about the the car wash. no regrets at all, but when you have this feeling that someone has been watching, it feels like confession time. enough said. 150210 ... Doar I love you babe. . 220126 ... . . 220126 what's it to you? who go blather from