being_awake second rank tensor field I guess that perhaps she will never understand. that feeling of anguish; walking so close to the cliff, on step and a little push intentionally jumping to your death. self destruction, how to live with this. there is nothing fatalistic about living on the edge when you can save yourself from jumping. 101002 ... unhinged yanked awake by the buzzer i look at my phone 4am (it was like i was somewhere else and rudely shoved back into my self) and then i could tell by the way he pushed the buzzer it was him on benzos 101002 ... snook Hard to wake up when your not really sleeping. 101002 ... blown cherry Another morning spent waking to the grey of the sky and to a room full of melancholic air; yesterday's well of dopamine well and truly run dry. 101004 ... edit request being awake, being absurd. i wake up and go to work and after work i go to the store and buy fish and broccoli to make dinner after which i sit by the window and watch the rain fall silently from the skies. and then to bed to start the cycle all over gain. jim morrison called all of us slaves and a part of me wonders if he was in fact, deranged or simply enlightened. 101005 what's it to you? who go blather from