as_i_awake ~gez~ i wake to realise its the weekend joy overcomes me on this day first orchestra, and then i am going to nats as i awake i realise you are not there it was all a dream 020921 ... chigetsu a cricket chirps in the scarecrows sleeve 020921 ... unhinged i wonder how you feel when you keep looking at your caller id on your cell phone waiting for the number of the person you want to hear from so much, the person you want to give your entire heart to, and it's just flashing zero. no_messages no calls. you're just all alone in a bar watching some fat guy jiggle around on stage to the motherfucking time man. i still feel like that everytime i see you especially when i see YOU looking for messages from people that won't call knowing that you never looked for me like that; only when you were hungry and clean. i want you to leave_me_alone. you are becoming the white room where i will die. why did you have to come back? 020921 ... IKC 56-80 i wonder if you catch yourself dreaming this way too 020922 ... Ouroboros unfolding 100810 ... hsg flow_er you_are_that flower_is_a_message function_follows_form nature_is_pure_intelligence prayer_is_seed completely_pure_minds witness how thought_creates_matter tunnels_in_every_direction they are flowering_karmas 100810 ... unhinged trance_ended i can't help you if i can't help me (my first post almost eight years ago and here i am in the same place yet again. so of course i can't help but feel stupid. this time it took less than a year to let_go ; i guess that's progress) 100811 what's it to you? who go blather from